Red tears- phanfiction

Pain, life, love & song

Dan's POV

Again with passing out. my body must feel terribly weak. how was I still alive. "w-w-where am i," I asked. "dan? thank god you woke up. I thought I lost you." "Phil?" "ya, it's me dan. I'm right here." I blinked a few times. I tried to raise my hand. I felt nothing but pain running through my arm. "Dan! take it easy. your body lost a lot of blood, plus your arm is full of wires and new c-c-c." "you can say it phil. Cuts. Cuts. clean for 2 weeks." Phil lifted up my bed so now I can see his face better. "dan, I gotta ask you something?" "What is it phil." "Was it me who got you to start again?" "I-I-I want to say no but, it's just that those jerks are the only ones who ever talked to me, plus I forgot my itch relieve lotion so my arm was itchy." "so it was me." Phil was about to walk away, when I grabbed his arm and said "Phil it wasn't you. it never was. it's just me. I just needed someone to blame." "Oh. Dan." "Phil do you think you can do something for me?" "Anything for you dan." "ok. so when I get out of here, do you think you can be in a YouTube video with me?" "Of course anything for you dan." "great!"
I was falling for Phil. I knew I was gay but falling for the new kid, that's why I started to cut again. I don't want my heart to be broken again. cris, I liked him so much, almost love, but as soon as people found out we were dating he left me for some girl. a girl. that destroyed me. That's why I haven't dated or shown I was gay. I was ready now to start dating again.
**time skip**
I got out of the hospital early. I left a note at the hospital for phil. I made a few snacks and got my camera ready. I was going to make a Q/A video. Everyone wanted one. I heard a knock at the door. "Dan? are you home?" said a familiar voice. "I'll be right down Phil." Yes. he's here. I ran down the stairs and opened the door. "Phil, the camera is ready." "Great. lets get going then." I showed Phil my room. every thing was black. nothing to bright in site. "I'm going to grab my script for you and me, so we can rehearse before we film." "ok."

Phil's POV

I sat on dans bed waiting for him when a sound came from know where. it was a song. a sad song. I listen to the lyrics.

Just an average girl she always wore a smile. she was happy and cheerful for a short while.
Now she older things are getting colder. life's not what she thought, she wished someone had told her.
She told you she was down, you let it slip by. so from then on she kept it on the inside.
She told her self she was alright, but she was telling white lies. can't you tell? look at her dull eyes.
Tried to stop her self from crying almost every night, but she knew there was no chance of feeling alright.
Summer came by, all she wore was long sleeves. 'Cause the cut on her wrist were bleeding through you see.
She knew she was depressed, didn't want to admit it, didn't think she fit it, everyone seemed to miss it.
She carried on like a solder with a battle wound. bleeding out from every cut her body consumed.
She had no friends at school, all alone she sat. And if someone were to notice, she would blame the cat.
But those cuts on her wrist, they were no mistake, but no one cared enough to save her from this self hate.
Things were going down, never really up. And here she is now stuck in this stupid rut.
She knew exactly what to do next. just stand on that chair and tie the rope around her neck.
She wrote a letter with her hands shaking wild "look at me now, are you proud of your precious child?"
But she know her parents weren't the ones to blame, it was the world that should bow down its head in shame.
She stood up on the chair and looked out at the moon. Just don't think, it'll all be over soon
The chair fell down as she took her final breath. It's all over, all gone, now she's greeting death.
Her mum walk in as she falls down to the floor. And now nothing can take back what she just saw.
Her little girl that she raised is just hanging there. her body's pale and her face is violently bare. All she does is stare, "How can this be fair?"
She starts reading as the tears roll down her face,"I'm sorry Mum, but this world is just not my place.
I've tried for so long to fix this and fit in,I've come to realise this world's full of sin.
There's nothing for me here, I'm just a waste of space.
I've got no reason to stay here with this awful race,It's a disgrace, I was misplaced,Born in the wrong time and in the wrong place.
It's ok though, 'cause you'll see me soon,You'll know when your time has come, just look at the moon.
As it shines bright, throughout the night.
And remember everyone's facing their own fights.
But i can't deal with this pain, I'm not a fighter.
You'll make it through the night, just hug your pillow tighter.
So let the world know that I died in vain,Because the world around me is the one to blame.
And I know in a year you'll forget I'm gone,'Cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on.
That's what they used to tell me, all those kids at school,So I'm going by the law majority rules.
My presence on this earth is not needed any longer,And if anything I hope this makes you stronger.
You're the best friend that I ever had,
Such a shame I had to make you so very sad.
Just remember that you meant everything to me,And to my heart, you're the only one that held the key.
Now it's time to go I'm running out of space to write.
And yes I lost my fight, but please just hold on tight.
I'm watching over you from the clouds above,And sending down the purest and whitest dove,To watch over you and be my helpful eye.
So this is it world...
Goodbye!"

Why does he have this song.

This song is but Courtney parker. listen to her version on YouTube. suicide is a serious thing, so please don't do it. if you want help there is always some who will listen. next part will be up in a few days, hopefully. bye.