Alone together (Akatsuki kittens)

The ways I could die

Tell me your answer here. I wanna know what kind of funny things y'all come up with.

I woke up with something warm on top of my chest. I open my eyes slowly to get used to the light and right there on top of me is Pein.
Aww~
He's so cute~
I lift my hand towards him and pet him. Rub his back. And scratch behind his ear. He really seems to like this because he is purring.
I take him in my hands as I get up. I look down to the kitties and they are still sleeping.
I look at them for a few minutes. Taking in every feature they have. Their slow movements of their chests rising and falling as they breathe. I can't help but wonder if it really is coincidence that they look like the Akatsuki or if it's really them. If they are really the Akatsuki and they really have turned into cats and transported here, it's gonna be a cold day in hell.
I feel something wet in my hand and I look down to be met with the sight of Nagato/Pein licking my hand.
"Good morning, Nagato." I say as I take us to the kitchen and he freezes up and looks up to me. "Don't worry, I know who you are, but I'm not going to hurt you." I say. He just stares at me, not sure what to do. Like when the mystery gang unmasks the monster and it turns out to be the person they were talking to the whole time.
I get to the kitchen put him on the counter and lean in close to whisper to him.
"Also, the reason I wanted to talk away from the rest is because I know how dangerous Tobi and Zetsu really are, so let's keep this between me and you of who you guys really are." I whisper. His eyes widened and then he nodded in agreement. "Good, now, as for their names, just tell them that you helped me figure their names out, alright?" He nods and I smile. I head to the refrigerator and take out many strips of bacon. I cut them into little pieces and give a few to Nagato.

He sniffs it for a few seconds and then eats a piece. When he eats it, he stops for a few seconds, and then eats-no, inhales ten more!

Wow. This kitty can really eat. I guess he was really hungry. It really makes me wonder if they have eaten anything at all in days. Because again, they are tiny kittens that only one of them could fit in the palm of my hand. Yes. They are that small. But just because they are small and defenseless doesn't mean that I should treat them like normal cats like Luna. Knowing that these kittens are the Akatsuki, I want to make sure I don't get on their bad side. Because what if one they they become normal again and then one of them or all of them decide to get revenge for something I might have done to upset them.

I don't need Deidara blowing me up.

Or Hidan sacrificing me to Jashin.

Or Itachi activating his sharingan and putting me under the tsukuyomi.

Or Kakuzu strangling me to death with the tentacle joints.

Or Kisame slicing me in half with samehada.

Or Konan being the first person to kill someone with paper cuts.

Or Sasori's new puppet in his collection.

Or Tobi killing me by making it look like an accident while being goofy.

Or being Zetsu's dinner.

Nagato... I think we're cool.

But everyone else? ... Yeah, I hope that if I piss one of them off, I hope they believe that I didn't know who they were and hope I come out of it alive.