The Phone Thief

9. The Categories

"What is that" Abubakar asked.

"Broadly speaking, there are three types of thieves. The first ones are those that steal because they they are in desperate need of something and the people around them aren't helping matters. That is how most people started stealing. At first, you know, they need something. And that thing, they don't have money to buy and they can't get the money either. So they find someone who has that thing in stupendous surplus and if they ask that person, he wouldn't even listen to them. So the thought of stealing will cross their minds. But they won't steal the thing then. The thought of stealing will have to register in their subconscious and brain. When it registers, their subconscious will prepare them on how to do the stealing. Then when an opportunity comes, they will seize it. This first theft comes with a lot of pressure and fear and guilt but it will all plummet over time. They will do it for the second time, the third time...and it will become fun. And a time will come when they wouldn't care whether you have the thing they are stealing in surplus or not, they will do away with it even if its all you got without fear, without remorse. If they got caught and severely punished, they might stop. Another thing that can cause them to stop stealing is if faith and the fear of God dominates the evil forces and desires in their hearts. If this types of thieves are caught, they shouldn't be beaten. They should be interrogated with the aim of finding a solution to their ill habits.

Let me tell you a story of an incident that took place some time ago. It was either in Kano or Jigawa state, I can't remember precisely where. There was a poor man who has kids. There was no food in the house and his kids were starving. They cried until they can't cry anymore. The man himself was starving and he has no source to get food. In the night, he became scared, his kids were weak and they may die. So he went out in search of food. That was how he managed to enter a house and steal food. Cooked food. He took the whole pot. Unluckily, he got caught. He was beaten. By many random people. To death. He died at the spot. Later in the same night, he was identified by someone. When police and the elders from the community went to the man's family with the news, they were found to be even too weak to cry. It was horrific. At the end, it wasn't just his family that cried, the community cried and especially those that descended upon him with woods and punches. It was after everything that they became rational.
The man was a good man.
He sells mortar and pestles that he makes with his own hands.
He walks several tens of miles sometimes before selling a piece.
He was a hardworking man.
He had never been caught with theft.
And what he stole was food. Cooked food. What kind of humans beat someone who steals cooked food?

"Subhanallah" Abubakar said "they shouldn't have. So sad. But he also shouldn't have stolen..."

"Yes he shouldn't have stolen it. I agree. But since we are not starving and we don't have kids that are about to die in the middle of the night, we are not in the position to judge him. God will judge him. And God will punish the people that killed him. Then punish his neighbors for not fulfilling the responsibilities of neighborhood. Then punish the leaders for leaving their subjects in terrible situations. Its not fair. See that?"

Adam continued "So what I was saying was, what if they had asked him why he stole the food in the first place? All of that wouldn't have happened. We are Muslims but we are behaving like barbarians or...animals" Adam's facial expression became that of a sad person. He stopped talking.

Abubakar then spoke to break the silence "That's bad seriously. But the assumption of people is that anyone caught stealing is a typical thief and he is used to it so they...."

"Yes" Adam admitted. "Those are a different category of thieves. I agree that there are thieves that steal out of selfishness, greed, envy, wickedness, indiscipline, lack of contentment and sheer stupidity. These people must be punished. They may still continue stealing even after being punished. They need divine intervention and if let's say they are being punished in accordance with the Islamic prescribed sanctions, many many of them will stop stealing. You'll realize that most of them have been devoid of home training and religious discipline. Parents have their own contributions.

Then the third category..... they are the kleptomaniacs. Stealing is part of them. They have no control over their hands. They may not have anything at all to do with hat they steal. They steal anything that circumstances and opportunities bring to them. Its a psychological disorder they said. They will keep stealing. And if you like kill them if you catch them. If they are to be reincarnated, they will continue stealing. If you have a friend that is a kleptomaniac keep her close but..."

"Why her?" Abubakar asked

"Because most cases of kleptomania involve women. I told you its a medical condition. You'll find them stealing things of insignificant value. They might be very rich and yet stealing things they can buy with N20. They are using an iPhone 11 that they bought with their own money but you can catch them trying to steal a N3,000 Itel phone's battery from an accessory store. Itel phone that they don't even have. There is a very powerful woman that is a kleptomaniac. Don't you know? It actually pains them too, you know. Just like a smoker who can't stop smoking. Or a guy who couldn't stop masturbating. Or someone with melomania or ablutomania or mythomania or infomania or sebastomania or...."

"Wait what do they all mean? Never heard of them" Abubakar frowned.

Adam laughed. "Okay let me see if I can recall the ones I mentioned. There is sebastomania right?".

"Right" Abubakar answered.

"A sebastomaniac is someone with religious insanity, we know a lot of them you know. Those...."

"I know them" Abubakar interjected. What of mythomania?"

"That's someone who likes exaggerating or lying to an abnormal extent. Then there's melomania for someone who is always obsessed with music. Ablutomania for someone who always likes washing himself and then there is.......infomania for someone who is excessively devoted to accumulating facts. There are over a hundred manias." Adam explained.

"Wow. So there might be a mania for someone who is too obsessed with traveling by flight?"

Adam laughed. "Maybe there is. I don't know. If there isn't, we can coin it"

"Is alright." Abubakar said. "So those kleptomaniacs, would they steal forever?"

"Not really. But the only thing that will stop them from stealing is if their faith and piety got strengthened otherwise you might have to subject them to psychological rehabilitation. There are drugs however that depresses addiction but mostly, kleptomaniacs stop stealing over the years on their own."

"So which category do you belong to?" Abubakar asked.

"Well well well, let's just say that I belong to a different special category. I'm not a thief. I am a con artist. Stealing is part of my tactics. That's all." Adam shrugged.

"Well, I see. So what's the plan?" Abubakar asked "How do you plan to stop stealing?"

"Honestly speaking, I don't think I will stop this soon. I am planning on a special operation" Adam looked at Abubakar in the eye.

"What do you mean special operation? Abubakar was bewildered.

Adam looked at Abubakar and released a heavy sigh.