just a little bit out of my limit // l.h. // a.u.

- t w o

Last period I had P.E. Most people despise P.E but honestly, I didn't mind it whatsoever. All it was was me and my feet pounding on the track and no one or thing would interrupt me.

I made my way into the locker rooms and for once, instead of staring me down, the plastics completely ignored me as I walked through, right to the back. I frowned a little in surprise, but either way, I would rather be ignored than tormented.

I stuffed my school bag into a locker and started changing. If I'm honest, I would rather poke a fork in my eye than get changed in front of my peers, but it apparently "had to be done" (this was indeed a direct quote from our P.E teacher). They could at least give us little private areas or you know just something to keep from seeing the others bodies, obviously my say didn't matter, as the rest of the girls couldn't seem to care less. Although, usually I just got changed in one of the toilet cubicles. Unfortunately today, all of the cubicles were full, meaning there was no chance I was changing my shirt. Yay, yet another detention for me. (Note the sarcasm.) I pulled my top down to cover my below areas as I slipped off my black jeans and VANS and quickly changed into my shorts, leaving my Sleeping With Sirens top on with my black hoodie.

I made my way outside the changing room and waited for the gym teacher even though I already knew what I was doing. Coach Smiths and I had an unspoken agreement. When I flat-out refused to do any group activities, he made me run laps and strangely enough; I enjoyed it. This became a routine and each semester I got an A in gym, so I guess everyone was a winner. When coach realised I at least knew a thing or two about long distance running he tried to make me join the track team; and I think you can guess what I said to that.

No.

As soon as Smiths saw me, he sighed. "No kit again, Ms. Rose?"

I quickly shook my head and made my way towards the track; he jotted something down on his clipboard as he called after me, "See me after class."

I stared at the burgundy track I front of me with determination. In my head I was thinking of an imaginary voice from old tapes I had watched before of coaches shouting at their athletes in training, "Go!" And pressing a button on their stop watches. I imagined a crowd of hundreds sitting in the rows beyond rows of benches shouting and staring in anticipation and I imagined actually having friends and family that cared and what my life would be like if I hadn't done the things I did when I did them and if my life was actually different in some way. A good way.

I did this to myself a lot, almost playing the 'what if' game in my head, thinking if things were different and if I could change things, but I couldn't, so I was pretty much torturing myself. I used to have friends, not good ones, but still friends. I had people that were envious of my curves and the way my hair was and how uncaring my parents were and how dare-devilish I was. But things were different now. And as I made my way round and round the track I just wanted to have a second chance at life. Without fucking anything up this time.

~~~~~~~~~~

So yah new update wow houSE PARTAY WOOO

Yeah I know I said a week but yeah that didn't happen bc school and homework and stuffss

Anyways

Peace

Love

Rubber gloves

Come speak to me if you like if you're bored because I'm usually bored and I would quite like some more internet friends bc yah that would be coolio and you'd be the cooliest

Shona x