I'll never say

Brake downs

They sat in silence for a while, to in shock to really react. Matt's hands clenched and unclenched in worry. His breathing was slightly uneven but he seemed to be holding himself just fine. Edd looked less put together, shaking ever so slightly with tears in his bright green eyes. Tom looked even worse, shaking a bit worse with tears freely falling down flushed cheeks. Tord whimpered and whined, gasping out as if he was choking in his sleep.

"Im... I'm really worried about him" Matt said. He shakily ran his fingers through Tords hair. Despite how calm handled the situation he was truly horrified. How could he not be?

"Oh god, oh my god they're going to kill him" Edd gasped softly, moving closer to Tord. His eyes suddenly didn't seem as bright. "We just got him back only to lose him again."

"We're not going to let him Edd," Tom said. Even he looked unsure of his words.

"We couldn't do anything when they nailed him to a wall!" Edd snapped, glaring at his lovers before looking away. "What power do we even have?"

"Edd!" Tom and Matt shouted at the same time. The shouts woke Tord, his unfocused grey eyes opening. He whimpered in pain, withering under Matt weakly.

"Sorry, Tord. Just go back to sleep, alright?" Matt soothed. Tord hiccuped, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. After a few moments Tord fell back asleep. "Now Edd, can you please not think like that?"

"I know Tord, and i know how secretive or just straight up stubborn he can be. He won't tell them, even if he dies because of it. " Edd sighed. It was the truth as much as the other 2 wanted to deny it. "He hid a whole army from us for 8 years, he can do it for a few months."

"We'll just have to do our best. It might be hard, but so has everything else in our life!" Tom said sternly, reaching out to hold Edd's hand. Edd met his eyes, a tear falling down his cheek.

"I just don't don't to lose him" Edd choked. He laid his head against Matts shoulder, holding onto Toms hand tightly. "I love him, after everything i still love him."

"We won't" Tom mumbled, voice unsure. He laid against Matts other shoulder, blinking away tears harshly. "We aren't losing him anytime soon."

_____

Tord groned, pain blooming everywhere. He was scared to open his eyes, yet the thought of falling back into horrible nightmares was more than enough to make him force open his silver eyes. He found himself lying on top a sleeping Matts, the gentle rise and fall of his chest giving him a soft comfort knowing he was alive and breathing. Tom and Edd were on either side of him, calm and peaceful expressions adorning their faces. It helped to calm Tord and the pounding in his chest. That was until he remembered the dream, tays words echoing in his heads. Screaming in his ears so loud, so fucking loud.

'You're a monster, Tord. Everyone you love is being put through hell and it's all your fault!' Tord squeezed his eyes shut tightly, fighting off the oncoming panic attack. He didn't want to think about it, think about the intrusiveness words that invaded his thoughts. It was right though, he knew it was right. He tried to bring up his hand to clear the tears but couldn't. Blueish grey eyes widen as his breathing began to quicken. He couldn't feel them, how hadn't he noticed? He couldn't feel his arms, could move them even the slightest. A broken sob made its way past his lips as he strained, agonising pain shooting through his arm as he managed to move it a little bit. Since he was right next to them it wasn't surprising that his boyfriend's immediately woke, already wearing looks of fear.

"Tord!" Edd gasped. Matt sat up slowly but the movement still made Tord shriek in pain. "Tord?"

"Tord honey I need you to breathe alright?" Matt said shakily. He ran his fingers through Tords hair, motioning for Edd to grab the first aid box.