Mark, Jackson & I // markson

S2 E10.1 - Ending

The boys had been out for a couple of hours already. I just finished my lunch and was cleaning the kitchen when I got a message:

Jackson: "Hey baby! I'm on my way home, Mark is still staying here with the other boys. And I'm super hungry *wink*"

I laughed and answered:
"The food is ready, welcome"

I put the phone down and sighed. I felt super confused with my feelings. I loved Mark. I really did. A thought of him made me smile so wide. He made me feel the butterflies in my stomach again. And it felt damn good.

I love Mark... okay. I crossed my arms and closed my eyes, trying to name my other feelings. I thought about Jackson. I opened my eyes again and tilted my head, repeating Jackson's name in my head. Jackson. Jackson. What do I feel for Jackson? Again, I closed my eyes and this time I felt like I was going to cry.
Why didn't I feel anything? I covered my eyes with my hands and whined out loud.
Soon the door opened.

Jackson shouted: "Hi!", and went straight to get himself something to eat. I paced back and forth in the living room, still trying to clear my head. I slowly walked into the kitchen and looked at Jackson. He sat on the kitchen table; just finishing his meal. It's now or never. I thought and approached him, tapping his shoulder a little.

"Jackson I need to tell you something", I started and sat down in front of him. He looked up at me confused and just nodded. I sighed.

"Jackson I feel like this thing isn't going anywhere. I mean - I feel like me and you have been distant lately.."

"Oh I know and I just thought I'd give you and Mark some space to get to know each other again", Jackson calmly said and put his fork down.

"No Jackson. I mean I really do feel like I'm not close to you anymore", I said sharply.

Jackson looked me in the eyes and shook his head. "Wh- what do you mean Y/N?"

"I mean that I'm not sure if I still have the same feelings for you as I used to", I tried to put attitude into my words but my voice ended up cracking. Jackson's expression changed as he stood up.

"What are you saying Y/N?", he tilted his head and looked at me closely.

"I am saying that... I think I want to break up. I need to clear my head", I closed my eyes and waited for his reaction. It was quiet for a moment before he could say anything.

"Break up with me?... And Mark?", he asked.

"No. Break up with you. Jackson I fell in love with Mark", I said quietly and continued: "And in the meantime I fell out of love with you".

Jackson's eyes started to build tears and he bit his lip. "You- you don't love me anymore?", he whispered and dropped his gaze to the ground.

"I don't", I answered and stood up too. Surprisingly, Jackson started laughing a little. It made me confused.

"I can't believe it.. this is all my fault", Jackson smiled and threw his hands in the air.

"Oh don't start to act like a martyr here", I blurted.

"No that's not what I meant", Jackson took a few steps forwards to me. "I meant that I should've known this was going to happen".

"What do you mean?", I sighed.

"I should've known this from the beginning, when Mark came into the picture three years ago", he chuckled.

"Leave him out of this! What nonsense are you saying?", I lost my patience and raised my voice at him. Jackson slammed his hands on the table which made me flinch.

"If I would've known back then that this would happen, I would have NEVER let Mark in!", Jackson shouted at me. Now I felt my tears starting to run down my face.

"Don't you dare-", I whispered.

"Yes, I do dare! Y/N, this is bullshit! I wonder how hard you actually hit your head back then. This isn't fair! You and I were meant to be! You're the one who's talking nonsense!", he kept yelling. I closed my eyes and let the tears stream down my cheeks.

"Out", I whispered.

"Excuse me?", Jackson blurted out.

"I said, get out!", I shouted and pointed at the door. Jackson laughed and walked fast towards the front door. He grabbed his jacket and shouted: "Never have I ever been kicked out of my own fucking house", before he slammed the door close.

The second he was gone I fell down to my knees and started crying.

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Hey you!

We are getting to the end of this season. One more part is coming.

You want a third season? ;) Let me know what you think.

Thanks to everyone who's been reading this; I appreciate each and every one of you.

-A-