The Broken Daylily

CHAPTER SIX: ... or for worse

Madilyn stood in front of the mirror, watching her own tears fall down. But on her wedding day – a day every girl had dreamed of for years – she was not shedding tears of happiness. She felt pain and grief, and she wished she had made a different choice.

But the past was the past, and no matter what she tried, she would never be able to change it. She ought to live with what she had done and accept the consequences, no matter how big they were.

But if she was hoping for support from her family, her hope was misplaced. She almost expected them to be smiling in relief behind the door they had just passed through. Her mother had not seemed unhappy when she was throwing all of Madilyn's clothing in a bag, saying they should not belong to her, for they were not paid with her money. Lady Martha even had the gut to say she was showing how kind she was by giving her the dresses.

Madilyn ought to have known her mother would sugar coat everything. Why would she even think that suddenly her mother would feel sorry for her, and would hug her and tell her everything would be alright.

Nothing will be alright, and that was exactly what her mother had said. All her words were to blame Madilyn. Her pain, the family's embarrassment, the anger of the ton... all of it was Madilyn's fault.

And unfortunately, Madilyn knew her mother was right. She had made the decision to lose her virtue to a stranger, she was carrying his child now and she had asked for his help. Twas also she who had proposed a wedding, hoping it would bring her some safety and certainty.

But right now, she did not feel certain. Right now, she felt frightened. And her parents entering the room did not chase that feeling away. In fact, she felt it only encourage the fear.

"You are a disgrace," lady Martha told her. Madilyn bend her head. Her mother had spoken those words more than once, but every time she knew they were true. "You are a disappointment to the entire family. Do you have any idea what this will cause to your father's name? Or how little chance at marriage Eleanor has now?"

"Then why do you not marry her off to someone?" Madilyn spoke with venom in her voice, for the first time contradicting her mother. "Arrange her a marriage like you did for Adelaide and wanted to do for me."

"You deserved it!" lady Martha shouted. "And Adelaide was almost a spinster!"

"So what? Eleanor can find her own husband?"

"She is twelve. She is not yet of marrying age."

"But then what will you do? Give her a privilege – as always – or marry her off to some horrid man?"

"What we decide for your sister is no longer a concern of yours," lord Edgar interrupted. Suddenly the room seemed to become a few degrees colder, as well as the silence became heavy. "For you are now no longer our daughter."

She turned to her father, confused over his words. "What do you mean with that?"

"From the moment you are married, you are a Brompton and no longer a Hayes. We will not associate ourselves with you, as well as you do not turn to us for help or social contact. We might be the people who gave birth to you and who raised you for twenty-two years, but in a few hours, you are no longer our daughter."

"What?" she asked, feeling fresh tears stream down her cheeks. Did they truly mean what they were saying? Where they being honest when they said they will no longer accept her as their daughter? She could not believe it...

"You are banished from our family," lady Martha said angrily, as if Madilyn was stupid for not understanding it.

She felt her legs become weak and eventually crashed down as the truth and the reality and the intensity of it all came falling down on her. Her mother was no longer her mother, her father was no longer her father, but worst of all, her sister was no longer her sister.

"Stop crying, for God's sake," lady Martha said with an irritated sigh. "You are ruining your make-up. Not that I bother, tis not my daughter getting married today." With her chin high in the air and a haughty posture, she turned around and left the room.

"Father," Madilyn begged, hoping the man would be more human than her mother.

But he merely shook his head apologetically before he, too, left the room for his daughter to break down in alone.

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With eyes red from crying and probably still wet from the tears, she walked down the aisle toward a man she did not know. Yes, she knew his name, and yes, she knew how he made love. But more than that, she did not know.

Looking around the church, she only saw a few people – all of which she did not know. Her family was not here – not even Adelaide was allowed to come.

With grave disappointment, she looked down at her hands, holding on tight to a small and sad bouquet of flowers. She also saw her dress, a white one she had in her closet for years. She did not get a special dress on her big day, and she also did not get a smile. She felt like she was walking to her coffin, ready to be buried under the ground.

I would rather be death, she thought. But then she mentally shook her head. Death was a frightening thought – even more frightening than marrying lord Thomas Brompton - a known rake - and carrying his child. To say she was surprised he agreed on a marriage with her, was an understatement. Yet the relief of having a roof above her head was too great to question his decision. He had agreed, and she would not make him take back his word.

She finally arrived at the front of the church where a vicar was smiling down at them. She did not look at her soon-to-be husband. She kept her eyes focused on the vicar and mind away from all her worries.

The ceremony did not take long. She would not be surprised if lord Thomas had asked the vicar to make it as short as possible, and she was grateful for it. Finally the vicar said: "Thomas Charles Brompton, do you take Madilyn Catherina Hayes to be-"

"Not Hayes," she interrupted. She felt lord Thomas' eyes in her, but ignored him and told the vicar: "I am no longer Hayes. Just Madilyn Catherina."

The priest had doubt in his eyes, but nodded and said: "Thomas Charles Brompton, do you take Madilyn Catherina to be your wife?"

There was a short silence before lord Thomas silently said: "yes."

Then the vicar turned to her and said: "Madilyn Catherina Ha-" He cleared him throat and continued. "Do you take Thomas Charles Brompton, lord of Lindenberg, to be your husband?"

With her eyes glued on the vicar and not the man next to her, she said: "yes."

"Then I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

A silence fell as they both looked at each other. Just watching, wondering what to do now.

Then they looked away and walked out of the church.