The Broken Daylily

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: Friends

Madilyn came back from her walk through the garden when the butler told her she had received a calling card. Elizabeth and Victoria had invited her for tea.

She was not certain what she should do. She would really enjoy the company – for her husband had not been it – but she was too pregnant to be seen by people. But then she reminded herself she was a Brompton now. They did not mind about what people thought. She should not worry about being seen by people and hear their whispers. They already had enough to whisper about. What would her big belly matter?

So she told the butler to send a letter back, saying she agreed and that she will be there. And she looked forward to it.

She had been happy to see her sister two days ago. But it also brought back the reminder of how her life used to be – before she got married and before her sister got married. They were both so happy, and they had each other for support. But ever since Adelaide had to leave London, everything had changed.

Madilyn thought she would be able to live with it, that eventually their lives would be great. But now that she was married as well and they barely saw each other, all she could think of were the bad things and the lonely moments. She truly wanted her sister to be with her all the time.

Mentally shaking her head, she decided to pass the time by forgetting about the loss and the pain. She found her way to the music room, and for the first time in this house, she started playing the piano. She did not bother about the fact that Thomas heard it, mayhap even the closest neighbours. She was quite good at playing the instrument, so there was nothing to be ashamed of.

The song she played was happier than before. She believed it might help her if she played a happy song, for it might render her happy. Sad songs only reminded her of her own pain and sadness.

But if she was truly honest, there was something about being alone. Twas not all bad. She could retreat in her own mind while listening to her music. She could create her happy world inside her mind as long as there was no one around to burst the bubble. And it made her quite happy to be in her own world, to find her own happy place.

Twas a place no one could touch. She had all control over it. In that place, her sister was not married and she was not pregnant. They both lived happily together without their parents and Eleanor.

The song ended, and Madilyn kept her eyes shut and her hands over the keys. She tried to stay as long as possible in her happy world, keeping that happiness inside her. But at one point she knew she had to return to reality.

But returning to reality felt not like a heartbreak, for her happy place was not what she saw as the standard. That was a privilege. So returning to reality was just that – a return to reality. And if she thought of that – of reality – she realized that now might not be good, but once the baby was there, her life would have more colour again. Her look at the future was bright and she was hopeful – for what else did she have but hope?

She turned around and looked behind her at the door, but Thomas was not there. She was a little disappointed by that, for she had hoped he would come. Not because she longed for him, but because she wanted to know him better. She did not want to avoid him anymore or pretend she was not in the house. He was her husband and she was his wife. They should act like it.

But every relationship – no matter how unimportant – had to come from two sides. And if he did not try to get to know her, how would they ever become friends?

She had been hopeful after that one day in Lindenberg when he asked her about her ribbon and he told her about his work. They had never before shared so many words. She had hoped that they would have conversations like that again, short but meaningful.