lovers | dorbyn

thirty one

"daniel.. he was damaged." corbyn whispered into the microphone, looking down at his shaky hands. he took in a breath, glancing over to his dead husband. he swallowed thickly. "um. he was okay in the 7 years when j.." corbyn couldn't even say his name without wanting to raise holy hell. "when he was locked away. he was fine, we were fine. once the stalking happened, that's when i saw him slowly break down. we fought more, we were tense."

corbyn looked at christina, out of all the people, the younger girl giving him a watery smile, nodding her head.

"we fought over silly things, like if we should move. he got in all of our heads. he wasn't just stalking us, he was stalking the boys too. he made all of us go fucking crazy." corbyn harshly wiped his face. "it was like we were constantly looking over our shoulders. and-and honestly," corbyn shakily said, "i cant tell if i'm happy he's gone. no one really knew how much pain he was in."

"i'm always going to miss him. and it's sad that he can't watch his kids grow up, he can't sing on stage anymore.. it's sad that he had to pass like this, but um.. not.. not everybody gets a happy ending."

corbyn scoffed quietly, walking off the stage, only to jog out of the church. jonah squeezed eben's knee, giving the twins a soft smile before, standing up when anna walked on the stage.

corbyn was pacing back and forth, tears freely streaming down his cheeks. "corbyn.."

"he-he can't be- i don't want to believe it, i hate this." he sobbed out. "i feel empty. i feel cold, he's not here to hold me when i'm sad, i need him here jonah."

"i want to fucking kill him." corbyn cried. "i can't- i can't-" he gasped. jonah sighed, tugging his tie off. he forced him to take the suit jacket off, leaving him in his white shirt.

"breathe, corbyn." he softly said. andrew came out of the church, his eyes softening, seeing his best friend in such a fragile state.

"bub.. hey, you have to calm down." andrew piped in. jonah patted andrews shoulder, walking back into the building when it was his turn to speak.

"i can't do it- i can't andrew, i need him." he choked out, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. andrew held him close, kissing his neck softly.

"you're going to be okay." andrew said softly. "what do you need?"

"daniel." he whispered. he took in a shaky breath, pulling andrew closer to his body. "i just need daniel."

❥

after the funeral, corbyn sat at the beach. he sat a few feet away from the water, just staring out to the horizon. he felt of soft hand on his shoulder, and then someone sat next to him. he glanced over, smiling small at christina. "hi baby." she sighed, lacing their fingers together. "how are you feeling?"

corbyn took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "empty." he whispered. christina shared a sad smile, resting her chin on his shoulder. "'tina i never really apologized. like, genuinely apologized."

"for what?" she asked, taking her chin off his shoulder.

"cheating."

"corbyn—"

"no 'tina." corbyn sniffed. "you've been by my side since day one and-and you're my biggest supporter and i repaid you by cheating on you with daniel back then. you deserved so much better than me and i know you and dyl are doing so well and i'm beyond happy for you two but.." corbyn sighed. "you honestly should have slapped me when i told you."

"baby." christina cupped his cheek, kissing his forehead. the two faced each other, christina keeping her hands cupping his face. "i didn't slap you then, and i'm not slapping you now. it was bound to happen eventually. long distance relationships are hard especially with your platform. i was sad. very sad. but for some odd fucking reason.. i wasn't mad. and it might of been because i love you and daniel too much to actually be mad or.. i don't know. i really don't know."

"i.. i still shouldn't have cheated." he sniffed again, feeling a break down coming along. "it wasn't right. it.. chris."

christina sighed, pulling corbyn close. she felt her blouse grow wet, hearing corbyn's sobs broke her heart. she kissed the side of his head, playing with his hair. "i'm so sorry you lost him, baby. you both deserved your happy endings." she mumbled, her fingers raking up and down his back. "just relax, honey." she whispered, her soft voice barely audible from the crashing waves. "listen to the waves. smell the salt in the air. feel my fingers along your back. just.. relax."

❥

corbyn walked quietly back home, christina by her side. she was wearing his suit jacket, their fingers loosely laced together. "we'll watch a movie 'til you fall asleep, okay?" christina squeezed his hand.

"okay." he mumbled. he was already tired.

so they went into the house. they went into corbyn's room, it was pitch black in the master bedroom. he flicked the light switched on, the lamps creating a soft glow in the room. christina sat down on the bed while she waited for him to give her clothes. he handed her a long sleeved shirt and some sweats. she thanked him and when to the bathroom to change.

corbyn changed into sweats and one of daniel's sweaters. he rubbed his eyes, leaving the room to check on his kids. they were all sleeping sound in their beds, peter sleeping in his own separate room now.

he went to the guest bedroom, sighing when he saw jack and zach. the two were both sleeping with tessa between them. he bit his lip, closing the door behind him.

he made his way over to the living room where christina now was. he plopped down next to her, resting his head on her lap. he looked at the screen, his lips curling up in a small, but noticeable, smile. "cloudy with a chance of meatballs."

"figured you needed something that wasn't sad."

"you're extremely right." he mumbled, his eyes slipping shut when her acrylic nails scratched at his scalp. "thank you. for everything."

christina looked down at her ex boyfriend (but best friend) with a sad smile. "of course, corbyn. i'm always here for you. always."

❥