International/ Payton Moormeier

3.

I wish I could say that nothing has changed between me and my best friends who live in my native town. Like we promised to each other that nothing especially distance could hurt our friendship.
I wish I didn't have to pretend during our 'family' dinner that I was happy. Sometimes I think, it's so strange how other people affect us, and our mood swings. I wish I wasn't that committed to them.

But somethings definitely changed. My friends became colder to me. I mean, we couldn't talk during my whole 'moving away' stage, because it took so much time, guys, I barely could talk to my parents, from time to time sending them just short messages like

'I'm fine. Just had dinner with my host family. I'm already going to sleep. Text you tomorrow."

"Bought everything I needed. Going to lunch now. Already signed some school papers. Really excited."

That's all. By the way, I warned girls that  during first days I probably wouldn't answer which they didn't mind. They sent me some memes which were pretty funny and I sent them back some.

Yesterday evening I finally had some time so I could tell them about the school. I didn't like to talk about it, cause I was afraid  they would think that I'm trying to brag. But thankfully they were happy for me. At least that was what they said.

I told them about not really friendly Vanessa, my therapist and Payton. Of course those girls were laughing their asses out. Mia even asked to send them his photo, so it took me some time to find him on Instagram and make a screenshot of his recent  photo with a caption "Lonely people tend to have lonely souls".

Me: Such a philosopher.

I joked. And a second later received laughing emoji in response.

Mia: girllll, he's pretty hot

'Eww, Payton and being hot are opposite things'. I wanted to text in response, but never did.

Mia:this Pay-boy is handsome and have a lot of followers. Is he some kind of a celebrity?
Me: first of all, girl we are only 16. To my mind it's too early to think about the stuff.
Mia: well, I'm 17
Me:oh yeah, how could I forget? It changes everything.
Me: anyway
Me: I don't know if he is or he's not. Moreover, I don't care about it. The only thing I know is that he's a dirtbag.

I kind of tried to show her him much he is unpleasant to me.

Mia: yeah, yeah, whatever helps you fall asleep at nights, little girl.

I rolled my eyes and then said bye, cause I really wanted to sleep. So I laid down and remember the evening.

During our dinner earlier Karen told me that tomorrow she would not be able to pick me up from school, so Vanessa was going to do it instead, because firstly, I don't have my own car or drive license and even if I had I'm in different country. Secondly, I still wasn't shown the bus station or whatever so I could go home without bothering them.Despite my insistence Karen said it was fine since Vanessa and I went to the same school. But I still felt awkward.

So I immediately replied to Karen that I don't want to be a burden if anything and Vanessa doesn't have to do it. But she just answered that it was nothing and Vanessa would gladly do it which I was doubting. But still I let it kind of go. I didn't want to get on anyone's nerves.

In the morning I wake up right in time. After doing my usual morning routine, I put on my new black jeans and a white shirt, taking my denim jacket with me in case it's gonna be colder than I expect. In the kitchen I see Karen feeding Charlotte with some porridge. Poor kids, how do they eat it?
But I take my toast with Nutella and drank tea without sugar, enjoying my breakfast. At least I don't have to eat porridge. Appreciating the smallest things the mood for today.