Colorless II: Black & White

3 - Pale Gaze

Deliah tried to run, but Rinian was faster. He grabbed her and held her by her arms. Deliah didn't fight it; she just looked at him. There were tears in her pale eyes, and devastating guilt struck him at the sight. This was wrong. For years, Deliah was his closest friend. They played together. He shouldn't have been holding her captive.

Rinian looked to Varick whose face was impossible to read. The king snapped his fingers and three of the sentries took Deliah away from Rinian and bound her wrists in iron. It brought him little relief. That may have been her last chance to escape execution, and he'd been the one to catch her.

Varick remained silent and cold, even as Deliah fell to her knees before him, her tears splashing on the mosaic tile.

Her face was downcast. "Varick—"

"Is it true?" he asked. "Are you with them?"

She shook her head. "I was. I came here to find out if the rumors about you were true. It wasn't to kill you; it was to decide your worth as a ruler." She didn't look at him once as she spoke, raising her gaze no higher than his leather-bound feet on the floor. "When I saw them today, I didn't know they'd decided to kill you. I tried to tell them you were a good man—a good king. I thought they believed me. I thought they'd left. Varick—"

"He's your king," Essen said. "You should address him as such."

Deliah winced. "My king. My..." Her hair slipped forward from her shoulders as she dipped her head. She weakly attempted to clear her throat, but her voice caught again. "My..." It fell to a whisper. "Varick, please. I...I meant every word I...What I said to you today..."

Rinian wanted to turn away, to give her the privacy she clearly wanted. He'd never known Deliah to be very emotionally open, and it embarrassed him to watch her struggle with it. But she was a confessed assassin, and he had a sworn duty to protect Varick. Although Rinian kept an eye on her, he didn't really know what he should do, where his loyalties should be. Varick insisted they were family, but Deliah was his blood. He didn't want to stand between them. A lump rose in his throat. He really didn't want to.

Varick held up a hand, and Deliah must have seen it in his shadow on the floor because she fell silent. "Who are you to decide my worth as a ruler?" he asked. His voice was steady, monotonous but Rinian knew him well enough to know that he was struggling to control his emotions. Varick was nothing like Deliah in that respect. He was open about his emotions, unashamed to show them. He'd worked hard to create an emotionless mask to hide behind when needed. He wore it now.

Deliah lifted her head but quickly looked away before meeting his gaze. There was a dim fire behind her expression. "If your people cannot decide your worth, then who can?" She shook out her hair and slumped her shoulders. The fire which had flared to life at Varick's words flickered away. "We're a pagan group."

"You're pagan?"

"I am." It wasn't a confession that would get her executed. Not since the battle at the Cathedral. But it wouldn't earn her trust either. Rinian wished she hadn't admitted it.

"And you planned on killing me?"

"Only if—"

"If I wasn't 'worthy', you planned on killing me?" Anger edged his voice.

She said nothing.

"Deliah!" His voice boomed. Varick so rarely shouted that even Essen flinched at his outburst.

"Yes."

Essen straightened again, coolly pretending that he hadn't been startled. "Was Rinian aware—?"