Colorless II: Black & White

10 - Amber Waves

Over the years, Rinian had watched the joy and optimism beaten from his friend. Varick had too much on his shoulders too young, and the toll taken was easy to see. However, Rinian had never seen him this downcast and sullen for this long before. He would pout for a bit or take out his frustrations by arguing with Essen over some policy or other political issue that went over Rinian's head, and then he would be himself again. Age and experience had made him cautious and dampened his impulsiveness, but he was just as sincere and passionate as he ever was. Now, all he did was stare at something so far away that not even Rinian could see it. He seldom listened to what Rinian said to him and responded even less. Rinian had no skills for conversation or comforting, and any efforts he made in lifting Varick's mood were fruitless. By the end of the first day, he had almost given up. For the first time since he'd met him, Rinian wished Essen were there. Although Essen's greatest skill was in making people angry, he had a particular talent at getting through to Varick. Deliah used to make him happy too, but he'd been avoiding her, and Rinian didn't think that her presence would help him now. Unless, perhaps, she used her magic, but that also didn't seem like a good idea.

They didn't dare risk traveling near any towns or inns where they could get a good night's rest. They were too close to the palace still. Too many people would be able to recognize Varick's face no matter what disguise they could pull together for him. And so, another night was spent under the forest canopy.

Thayer had insisted on setting up Varick's small tent that had been stashed away among the supplies Essen retrieved. He went about this work with as much flourish and dedication as he did anything, and Rinian still had no idea how genuine Thayer actually was. He was so impassioned that it verged on sardonic.

The tent was modest compared to some Rinian had seen, but it was large enough for Varick to stand up in, and for four people to sleep comfortably. Despite that, no one took up his offer to share. Rinian had no plans to sleep, and no desire to stifle his senses with layers of canvas. Thayer, Cyran, and Lyra all turned him down with little need for an excuse, and the invitation was never extended to Deliah who was once again ignored by her ex-lover.

Cyran didn't have quite the same energy and tolerance as Rinian and couldn't comfortably go another night without sleep, so he curled up by the dying fire that had been used to boil fresh water. The way he slept reminded Rinian of Maram, though he'd never tell Cyran that.

Lyra also slept although she woke frequently at every little sound and kept a hand on her weapon. Rinian suspected she had learned to sleep like that when she was in the Guard, and he thought he should ask her to teach him how.

Thayer and Deliah helped Rinian keep watch for hours into the night until Varick's muffled voice beckoned him into the tent. Varick was sitting up on his bedroll, bent forward with his forehead in his hand. Rinian let the flap of the tent fall closed behind him. "What's wrong?" he asked.

Varick gave a quick breath almost like a laugh. "Nothing," he said, dryly.

Rinian kicked Varick's discarded shirt away and took a step forward so he could stand without stooping as low. "Have you slept?"

Varick didn't answer. "Can you bring Deliah here?"

"Of course, but..."

Varick tilted his head to look at Rinian through his mess of green hair. "But?" he said. "But I'm not a king anymore, so you don't feel the need to obey me?"

"No. I mean, yes. Or...whatever the fuck...you know I'll still listen to you. I'd just like to remind you that a tent's walls are pretty thin, and—"

"What is it you think I want from her?" Varick asked, and he smirked at Rinian's obvious discomfort. "Pervert."

"Shut up!"