Do you remember?

Chapter 2 - Toy story

His 20'th birthday. 

I can imagine how his day would be. The house would have been full of friends. And it probably will be. Dad have invited some of his friends over. Kinda like a we-love-and-miss-you-and-we-wish-you-were-here-now-thingy. 

It's now 6:30 in the morning. Still haven't slept at all. I wish I could. But all I can think of is him and how happy he would have been today. He always talked about ho great it would be turning 20. And all I cna thinnk of how he's not able to do that. 

I've promised myself to live some of my life for him. Do some of the things he always wanted to do. He always told me what he dreamt about doing, like go to Africa, bungee jump and a lot of other things.

I look at my clock again, 7:45. I get up, find my computer and go looking for a dvd I haven't seen since he died. I finally find it in a old box. I hold it in my hands, gently slides my fingers over the cover. "Toy Story 1"  it says.  We used to wacth it all the time. We loved Disney but mostly we loved Toy Story. I think we've watched it over hundred times and I'm not kidding. We used to watch it almost every day, also suplying with Toy Story 2. We used to sit in the couch under some blankets with a cup of hot chocolate between our hands. With our eyes glued to the screen. Sometimes I looked at him and just watched him be all sucked in the story. 

I snap out of the memories when I feel a little tear hit my hand. It's going to be the first time I watch the movie since he died. It's going to be weird, I know it. I'm going to imagine him sitting next to me, mimicing all the lines. 

I find my bed again, cuddle down under my blanket and puts the dvd in my computer.

I take a deep breath and press play.

I see the oh-so-lovely blue wallpaper with the skies. I love it. The title song 'you got a friend in me' is playing. A tear stream down my face. We used to listen to that song all the time when we were younger. This is the hardest thing I've done in a long time. To you, it may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. This movie is like our childhood. And not being able to share any more moments with him anymore makes me want to never stop crying. 

I force my self to watch the whole movie. Eventhough I'd rather just turn it of and not think of him. 

The movie is finally over and I think my eyes are empty of tears by now. I walk to the kitchen and gets some food. I'm starving. I find some bread and nutella, walk back to my room with the food.

I look at my phone. it's now 9 o'clock. This is going to be a long day, I just know.