Do you remember?

Chapter 3 - The birthday

I check my phone once more. It's now 09:45. I hear a knock on the door and my dads head pops up in the door. He takes a short glance at me.

'Luna, you haven't closed an eye all night, have you?" he says.

“No” I answer him in a low and shaky voice. “No I haven’t” I add.

He sighs and walks over to my bed. He looks me right in the eyes and gives me a tight father hug. It feels nice I really needed it. I suddenly feel calmer and I begin to feel a bit tired.

My dad tells me to go to sleep and then he’ll wake me up in a couple of hours. He says that I need to be ready and fresh till when the guests come over and I know he’s right.

I fall a sleep. Not a deep one. One of those sleeps when you feel like you wake up all the time. When my dad wakes me up its one o’clock in the afternoon.

The guests will be here by four o’clock. If he just had been able to be here right now.  He would probably be so exited if he were still alive. He would be in the biggest party mode you have ever seen. He would be all jumpy and whenever I would walk past him he would grab my hands and dance around me. I would start giggling like I always did at these moments. And then he would laugh because of my giggle. He was always like that when he was really happy.

I really hope that he can see, from up there, how many who shows up today.

But before they come I am going to visit his graveyard. I do that very often. Sometimes I just sit besides it and talk or draw the things I see.

I find some clothes to put on. Just a pair of skinny jeans and a hoodie.  I find my iPod and earbuds.  I find a bag, my sketching blog,  my pencils and grab an apple before I walk out the door. I put on the song ‘miss you’ by the amazing Ed Sheeran on (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xgnu4vEhX2A). 

The song begins.

“Shock, horror, i'm down

Lost, your not around

There's a lump in my chest that

Sends cold through my head and

My mind shuts sound out

I'm on autopilot

And my tongues gone silent

Just switch it off and lay it down

Lay it down, next to me

I don't know when i lost my mind

Maybe when i made you mine

Wooooohhh ohhhhh

I don't know when i lost my mind

Maybe it was every time

That you said, you said, you saaaaaid

That i miss you

That i miss you

These words mean nothing to me

I'm just in on a fence of how it used to be

These three words, are aching

Constrict them, suffocating

My mind is racing

With the picture i'm painting

And my belly's sick to its stomach

When i remember all the times he was with you

When you laid it dowwwn

When you laid down, next to me

I don't know when i lost my mind

Maybe when i made you mine