Fake News

Fake News (Part 2)

(Warning: This story contains inappropriate language.)

Fake News (Part Two)

        “Hello, brother,” I began, “I came back to the past to save you from those monsters. The villagers.” He looked at me weirdly. “What the fuck are you talking about?” he asked. Then I used the Time Sceptre to show him a flashback of the event when the volcano eruption occurred. “What? Does this really happen?”he asked. Then one of the villagers walked in my house. I immediately froze him using the Time Sceptre. “Now let’s go before these idiots try to kill us again!” I said. Then I opened a portal leading to the time before I threatened Santa Claus. The guy I froze automatically unfroze. My brother tapped me saying, “Hey, brother, Johnny just, er, unfroze.” I looked towards Jonny. “God damn it! This thing must be low in battery,” I concluded. The portal I made disappeared as a result. I ran towards the back door. “I must have drained all its power when I traveled here. Fuck! I should have charged it beforehand.” Then I grabbed my ice gun and shot it at the Time Sceptre. The power was restored. I started laughing fiendishly. Then my brother ran towards me. I looked at him and he was out of breath. “Johnny,” he began, “he told everyone what happened to him and now they are planning on destroying you. They think you are some sort of witch or something.” I stared at the Time Sceptre for a full minute. “If it’s a war they want, then it’s a war they shall get!” I said while walking towards my house. After a few minutes later I walked towards the villages. They were ready to battle me. They had a lot of weapons on them, such as an ice guns, bombs, swords, etc., but they were still no match for me. I was about to send all of them to another dimension, but Johnny pushed me, and that caused me to accidentally teleport my brother to another dimension. “No!” I yelled. “You son of a bitch!” I continued, then I froze Johnny using the Time Sceptre. The rest of the villages shot cannon balls at me, and I used the Time Sceptre to push the cannons back at them. They were all running for their lives. Then I unfroze Jonny. “Is this your solution to everything? Escaping like a dirty animal? Pathetic!” I remarked. He gave me a dirty look, then ran in the same direction the villagers had ran. Then I used the Time Sceptre to try to pinpoint where my brother was. It took me about a minute in doing so. I had no luck in finding him, which meant that I accidentally sent him somewhere outside of earth. “Fuck!” I roared. Then I used the Time Sceptre to show me where the vallagers were. It was showing me what the villagers were doing. “I have a plan in defeating this witch guy,” Johnny announced. “We are going to wear the Invisibility Suits and attack him at the same time,” he continued, then laughing like an idiot. I instantly made the Time Sceptre stop what it was trying to show me.  Then I used the Time Sceptre to location the villagers. They were at the beach near the Atlantic Ocean, on the west side of the Valley of Peace. So I went there to ambush those idiots. It didn’t take long for me to get there. I used the Time Sceptre to turn me invisible. “Now it’s time to destroy this monster!”Johnny yelled, while the other villagers were cheering. As they were about to put on the Invisibility Suits, I instantly froze all of them--excluding Jonny-- at once. Then I made myself visible again and walked towards Johnny. “You are a true idiot! And you just dog your own grave as a result,” I said. He looked nervous, and I don’t blame him. Then I shocked him using the Time Sceptre, and he fell frontwards. “It’s one thing to try and burn me alive, to treat me like I was your little bitch, but no one kills my brother and lives to tell the tale!” I continued. “It was--” “Shut up!” I screamed at him, then shocked him before he could finish. Then I froze him while giving him a stare indicating that I was serious. I then opened a portal just before him while lifting him up. Then a bomb (coming from above) fell on top of me, making me drop the Time Sceptre. And as a result of that, everyone unfroze. Santa Claus then came down with his sleigh of reindeers’. “I can’t allow you to cross this path, Mario. I am sorry, but I just can’t,” he said while jumping out of his sleigh. “No… you’ll be sorry…” I replied. Then I pushed Santa Claus using my telekinesis. I then used my telekinesis to grab the Time Sceptre. “You are a fool, Saint Nickolas,  for interfering,” I continued. Then I teleported him to another dimension. His reindeers flew away in the process. Johnny ran towards the Valley of Peace while I was distracted.  “You son of a bitch,” I whispered. Then I grabbed my ice gun and started shooting him. I was unfortunately unable to stop him. “So what are you going to do to us?” one of the villagers asked me. “I am going to make your lives a living hell,” I answered, while laughing fiendishly.  

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        Ever since I was a child, I always dreamt about conquering the world. Today, I have finally achieved my goal I dreamt about for years. I used the Time Sceptre to shape the entire world into my world. Everyone was under my control-- including the villagers. It had been a week since I took control of the Universe. There were statues of me everywhere-- which was made by the villagers --and surprising it looked pretty good, considering how stupid they are. I also made a huge castle equipped with cannons. It’s location was in the center of the Valley of Peace. I was in my castle shocking the villagers with the Time Sceptre as they were taking my orders. I found it so pleasing that I was making them my little bitch. “It feels so good to finally have my revenge on these idiots. What should I make them do now? Should I make them battle one another? I am not sure anymore,” I said. Then suddenly something entered my mind. I realized that Johnny was still out there and I became nervous. I was only nervous for about a minute. Then I realized that he was too stupid to become a threat. At that’s was when two villagers was carrying Johnny and then let him down, right before me. He got back up and then I shocked him, already predicting that he was going to attack me. “Okay you little bitch! How did you manage to avoid the Time Sceptre’s power?” I asked him. He attempted to attack me again, but  shocked him multiple times, until he fell backwards. “I repeat: how did you manage to avoid the Time Sceptre’s powers?” I asked him again, but this time I sounded more annoyed. “All right,” Johnny said, “Santa Claus used his magic wand to free me from your control. He said, ‘Please! Stop my former friend from his fiendish acts!’ He left me alone and I wanted to return the favor.” I shocked him ten times harder than the previous times. “I should have known. I should have killed him when I had the chance. But I won’t make the same mistake with you!” I replied. Then Johnny threw a bomb at me, and I dropped the Time Sceptre again. “Not again!” I yelled. Johnny grabbed the Time Sceptre before I had a chance to react. Johnny used the Time Sceptre, but instead of attacking me, he accidently turned all the villagers into frogs. “You are a true idiot! Using that is as simple as breathing! And still, you fucked up!” I mocked. Then I grabbed my ice gun and continuously shoot him. He was turned into ice after a couple of shots. I then was about to take the Time Sceptre off of his hand, but plenty of frogs jumped on me, causing me to fall. The Time Sceptre fell out of Johnny’s hands and the mental ball on top of it broke into pieces. “No!” I yelled, then I was teleported to the present, the moment when I was living in the North Pole. It felt like the whole situation was a dream. And I noticed that my huge fish was still right beside the TV. I walked outside with my head downwards. I then saw a giant shadow and I instantly looked upwards. It was a giant dragon that was blue and it had a long tail. It had four legs and it was randomly looking at me. “Are you one of the villagers?” the dragon asked me. I was shocked. I wasn’t aware that dragons could talk. “No, I am not one of the villages. In fact, I was there prisoner up until the volcano erupted five years ago,” I replied. “Lies!” the dragon yelled. Then he thrown up and one of the villagers came out. “They have fled the city and I plan on finding them,” the dragon continued. This can’t be, I thought. My only conclusion was that I was teleported ten years in the past-- around the time when the Dragon Wars ended. The dragon was about to walk away from me, then I asked, “Who are you? And why are you hunting the villagers?” The dragon stopped and looked towards me. “I am the king of the dragons, my followers call me Joseph. A thousand years ago the villagers took our eggs thinking they were food. One of my followers saw them and attacked them. They killed hundreds of my kind-- if not thousands. Me and a few of my followers are the last of my kind, and we wanted to destroy these villagers for revenge for eating our eggs,” the dragon explained. “Those villagers killed my family members as well. They teleported me fifteen years in the past using the Time Sceptre,” I replied. “ And if you work with me, you’ll have the revenge you deserve!” The dragon looked at me for a moment then said, “Okay. Let’s join forces then.” To be continued…