noise | komahina

one | dialogue

general trigger warnings: mentions of panic attacks, self hatred.
if you feel as though these themes could trigger you then feel free to leave/ skip this chapter. stay safe <3

I am terrible with dialogue. I find it hard to find the right words to say so sometimes i just don't speak at all. It annoyed people to no end. They dont, no, they didnt like my silence.

So one day I told myself that I would speak. I would make an effort to create dialogue with other people...but instead of saying something acceptable i'd just get overwhelmed and blurt out something horrible about myself; im trash, worthless, useless, nothing. So now, instead of saying nothing, I was saying something...but it wasn't what people wanted to hear, wasn't what I wanted to say.

People got used to me calling myself worthless. I guess it sort of became a bit of a routine.

Routine, I like routine. I don't like change, it takes a lot of energy to get used to.

A soothing voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Chiaki; her hand on my desk and she stared softly into my soul. Even though her gaze was soft, it was quite intimidating.

She smiled as soon as she saw me look up.

"Daydreaming again?" She asked, though she already knew the answer. "Everyone has already left the classroom, well except for us."

"Ah, okay. Thank you." I said, my hair covering my eyes once again. She smiled sweetly at me before walking out of the room. Chiaki was sweet, kind. Her voice was soft and it made me feel happy.

Once I was alone in the classroom I slipped back into my thoughts. I didn't want to go outside with the rest of them, sometimes it was a bit too much. Especially now, I can't handle talking to people right now. Don't want people to stare at me and my messy hair and my pale skin. I ran my hands through my hair before sighing again...and again, and again and again and again until I was hyperventilating. I tugged at my hair slightly before recoiling at the pain. My vision was getting blurry, black patches covering my vision; I realised I was crying.

I wish this wouldn't happen during school.
I wish I didn't feel like this at all.

I choked slightly as my hands got shakier. I kept raking them through my hair to try and distract myself, and it worked. My breathing slowly calmed down as I realised where I was; still in the classroom. I looked around, making sure nobody was there. I didn't want anybody to hear my hideous sobs.

I wiped my tears on the sleeve of my jacket before quickly scampering out of the classroom. I needed some air to clear my lungs and my mind; both felt extremely crowded and cramped up.

I walked along to the venting machine that was filled with sodas. I looked intently at the melon ramune, rummaging around my pockets for any spare coins but I had none. Just my luck.

"I'll buy you one, just wait there!" A female voice sung. The best way to describe her voice was...obnoxious.

I turned around and saw non other than Junko Enoshima, speed walking toward me, a coin placed between her index finger and thumb. "Here, take it. Mukuro usually makes me buy them for her buuuut she pissed me off so this'll give me a reason to not buy her anything. If you take the money I won't have to feel guilty for lying...oh who am I kidding! I wouldn't care if I lied! But you looked so disappointed, so sad, despair enduced." She rambled before cutting herself off. "Just take the coin, fluffy." she said, glancing up towards my hair.

Although I didn't appreciate the nickname, I did appreciate the offer. "Are you sure? I mean, you probably wouldn't want to help out someone as worthless as me." I laughed.

She raised an eyebrow before smiling. "Take it." She said, not waiting for a reply before she placed the coin into my hand.

"God, your hands are, like, super cold!" She remarked. "Wear mittens or something! Aren't you freezing?" She continued.

I just shook my head. She leaned against the vending machine and watched as I slipped the coin into the slot. I got my ramune and turned toward Junko, her head still tilted against the glass of the machine.

"What's your name? I know you're not new, but you like, rarely ever speak." She spoke confidently, a hand placed on her waist.

"My name is Nagito Komaeda.." I replied a bit sheepishly.

"I'm Junko Enoshima!" She said with enthusiasm. I smiled at how energetic she seemed to be.

The day went on, Junko pestering me whenever she saw me in the hallways inbetween classes. She seemed nice, if not a bit overconfident.

When the day came to an end it was a relief. It hadn't been the worst day, I'd even say it was an...improvement.

Improvement takes time to get used to, but I think I'll settle soon enough. Hopefully.

Dialogue. I needed dialogue, normal dialogue, and that's what I got... in the form of Junko Enoshima.

authors notes: this chapter doesn't include hajime because I wanted to develop upon nagitos mindset. this chapter is from nagitos point of view so I could help emphasise his feelings, although the POV will alternate between chapters just to help with character portrayal and development. thanks for reading! <3