[Excerpt] The Stand-In: my life as an understudy

The Ass in Assistant

"No. No, Norb. You stay, buddy. I'll see you later," I said to the white and brown ball of floof desperate to come with me as I locked up the house and hoiked the bag up my shoulder.

"Chloe!" Ella screeched and I rolled my eyes.

"Coming. Coming!" I answered as I hurried around to the car and slid into the back seat.

Mum was already in the front with Ella.

"Your father will pick you up from Dance and drop you off at Piano, then I'll get you from there, and we'll go to the hairdresser. What time's the party?" Mum asked as she backed out of the garage.

Ella looked over her planner with a huff. "It starts at seven–"

"So by the time we're fashionably late to make an entrance... That will make it eight." You wonder where Ella learnt how to treat people so well? Just take a look at our mother. "Your father and I need to be at dinner with the Petersons by half-seven, so Chloe will take you–"

"Actually," I interjected, leaning forward, "Chloe has plans."

Mum waved away my trivial concerns, like I was interrupting her speech to NATO, or I was a particularly annoying fly or something. I was starkly reminded of Ruby Rhod from Fifth Element. And her outfit wasn't helping the image either.

"Chloe will take you, then wait for you to let her know when you're ready to come home. I have to put my face mask on tonight and your father's getting up early in the morning for golf with Hector."

I flopped back in the seat, knowing it was pointless to argue. I could – of course I could – and I had been known to on many occasions. But today I did not have the energy for the guilt trip speech; "but, the things we do for you, Chloe!" "Your sister is very good to you, Chloe." "It's the least you could do, Chloe." At least they remembered my name...most days. It was all just easier and life went quicker when I just went along with the madness.

Less than twelve months. Big neon lights. I reminded myself like a mantra.

Because in less than twelve months I would finally be eighteen. I could do what I wanted, when I wanted and I was counting down the days like my birthday would be water to my previously parched existence. Not long now. I'd lived like this for over seventeen years, I'd been the understudy to my sister's life for seventeen years. What was one more? One more and I'd be free; the idea alone made it all worth it. It made anything worth–

"Chloe, stop daydreaming!" Mum practically shrieked.

I jumped. "Sorry. What did you say?"

"You need to run to the pharmacy for me while your sister and I are at the hairdresser. We just won't have time to get there."

I nodded as I looked out the window. "Sure, Mum. No worries."

I ignored them for the rest of the trip, with thankfully no more screeching of my name at dog-attuned heights, with my nose stuck in my book. Well, one of the eBooks on my phone because then I wouldn't have to hear about how nerdy I was.

We finally pulled into the dance school carpark and I dropped out of the car, waving to Akira as I dragged the bags after me. As Ella passed, she held her hand out and I seamlessly put her bag into it with the three seconds I had to do so; practise makes perfect, and I was a well-practised assistant.

I fell into step with Akira as Mum tooted to Ella, who was flouncing up the stairs like she owned the place.

"How was your week?" Akira asked.

I shrugged. "It went. I'm on the formal committee now apparently."

Akira looked at me in surprise. "Oh good, because you don't have enough to do with your life."