ACT 1
SCENE 1
LOCATION: Street leading up to the Elinsore Hall
Scientist (to herself)
Ah,isn't it funny when I realised that parallel universes exist containing the characters we call fictional exist? I will prove my theory to the world. But one funny thing which I do realise is that then all of us must be characters written by someone. There are no genuine universes. Merely universes created by the power of words. Of speech. I wonder who wrote me.
[Exit]
SCENE 2
LOCATION: ELINSORE HALL
Hamlet
..... These but the trappings and suits of owe.
Scientist (enters abruptly as always and looks around but apparently forgets who she is dealing with)
You must be Hamlet
Hamlet
Alas,I have no other name
Scientist
You must be Clau... King Claudius,Queen Gertrude,Lord Polonius and umm... Laertes.
Claudius
Who are you? And to what purpose do you arrive here in this palace?
Hamlet(aside)
Indeed and having the strangest of behaviors
Scientist(bluntly)
My name's Dr. Deepshika and I am a scientist. I have come to take you all to a place by the banks of the river Yamuna.
Claudius(startled)
What?
Hamlet
I beg your pardon?
Scientist (to herself)
Why does he have to remind me of Cassius?
(to everyone else)
It is as I have said,to take you to some place by the banks of the river Yamuna.
Gertrude
And how do you plan to take us there?
Scientist (enthusiastically, waving a remote)
With my new invention of course.
Laertes
Wait wait wait,who decided that we are going?
Polonius
Well spoken son,are you up to some mischief?
Scientist
No no no,I am not trying to do anything, it will be just like a vacation.
Hamlet
Indeed
Claudius
Court dismissed
(Courtiers depart apart from Polonius, Claudius, Gertrude,Hamlet and Laertes)
Look its all fine and well and someone (glancing at Hamlet) clearly needs it but I am a bit preoccupied with my country so you will have to excuse me and Gertrude.
Gertrude
Indeed I am afraid I cannot come but Hamlet you should take a vacation dear.
Hamlet(to himself)
Vacation indeed,they could have just as well let me go to Wittenberg. But no,to prolong my suffering they have to send me to some unknown place with an unknown person. Oh just great.
(to everyone else)
Of course if will be lovely,I wholeheartedly agree with your decision, mother
Polonius
I will accompany you, my Prince. To see that no harm comes to you.
Laertes
I am going back to England, I am not going anywhere. I will ask Ophelia.
Gertrude
I am so happy that you have decided to listen to me. I am sure that this will brighten your spirits.
Polonius
I am coming with you,my son to get Ophelia
(Gertrude, Claudius,Polonius and Laertes exeunt)
(Horatio enters)
[As the dear reader has probably guessed that this alters Hamlet Act 1 Scene 2 quite a lot but I am the author and I do what I wish to.]
Horatio
My lord
Hamlet(wearily)
Horatio
Scientist
So you are Horatio
YOU ARE READING
WHAT IF: A COLLECTION OF CRACK PLAYS
HumorLaughter is the best medicine we all have been told. And in this collection of my crack plays or rather,skits,I hope to provide exactly that. This will go from Shakespeare to exams,from the North Pole to the South Pole. All be fun. Welcome to the Fe...
