A NO SPECIAL GIRL STORY (AN INFINITE FANFIC)

ANSGS - EPISODE 41

EPISODE 41

*** WOOHYUN'S POV ***

Time, can you stop at this moment? I just want to be with her, so badly. And if you're a damn too stupid and continue to run, I'm afraid I just have at least an hour to spend with her.

Still, the time passed very quick after our ferris wheel ride. We spent our remaining hour just cherishing the feeling of being next to each other because nothing can really make us feel better than our own presence. We sit here, at the bus stop bench, waiting for the bus to arrive.  Perhaps, we're both wishing that the bus would never arrive.

"Woohyun oppa, do you know what scares me the most in this world?" she asks, without looking at me. I haven't even answered when she continues,"that is, returning here in Daegu..."

"why?" she turns to look at me and answers, "...because Daegu reminds me  that mom and dad died in a car accident..."

Swallowing her tears back, she continues, "That night, we didn't expect a storm as we were travelling back from Daegu. The road was slippery and the rain was heavy. Our car..." she paused, fighting back her tears, "fell on the lake. The next thing I knew, I was in the hospital looking for mom and dad..."

I pulled her closer and whispered, "We shouldn't have returned here, then..."

"I... I committed countless suicide attempts. At that time, I really wanted to die, really. I tried jumping off from a cliff but I always failed. I don't know what or who saved me. At the least, I would wake up in the hospital with broken bones. I even tried to overdose myself with medicines but in the end, I'm still alive. Until, I got tired and thought, I was meant to live. Though, I never really feared death until that night in Jeju..."

I released her, without a word. I know she just want me to listen and nothing else and so, I just keep waiting for her to continue, "I purposely stepped into that accident...because I thought death would end it all.  Then, I realized, that when I die, I won't see you...and that scares me more than death..."

"Mianhae, Ji Ae. I shouldn't have hurt you, I'm really sorry..."

"I should be saying that, oppa. I'm sorry, I was wrong. I should have proved that I loved you instead of pretending that I didn't recognize you. Sorry oppa, I was too coward and didn't fight for us"

"Ji Ae~ah, why do you keep saying sorry, huh?"

She shakes her head, "(because I'm being coward again)"

"Ji Ae, I'm going with you..." I said, looking at her straight in the eyes, "...wait for me in London, okay? I'm going to book a ticket, I'm going to follow you, promise..."

"What about Infinite?" and when I couldn't answer, she continued "your dreams? your acting and music career? your fans? your hardwork, sacrifices just to get where you are now?"

I was about to answer but she broke me off, "let's break up, Woohyun oppa..."

"We don't have to, Ji Ae! Long distance relationships still work these days, you know?"

"Long distance relationship applies to those who live in the same world. We don't Oppa."

"Ji Ae, that's nonsense..."

"It makes sense to me though. you're a star, even if how much I want to reach you, there's just, no way to. Maybe, at some point, I reached you, but then, I have to let you go because you're too big and blinding for me to keep..."

"your world, my world, does it really matter?"

She looks at me with those teary eyes and false smile, "I can still be a fan, right? So at least, I can watch you even from afar..." she pauses, fighting back her tears, "at least, I can love you, freely..."

"...do you really want us to break up?"

She nods, looking away. I can't help the tears from flowing anymore, it freaking hurts to keep it inside.

"I'm not going to call you..."

"...it's okay" 

"I'm not going to visit or meet you"

"it's okay"

"I'm not going to send you flowers or gifts, or anything..."

"it's okay"

"I'm not going to embrace or kiss you..."

"it's okay"

"I'm not going to miss you, either"

"it's okay"

"...but, it's not okay for me, Ji Ae..."

We look at each other, our tears streaming down our cheeks...

"I hope it's going to be okay soon, Oppa..."

She reaches out for my cheeks and kisses my tears away, "Oppa, kumawo (thank you). Because of you, my fear of returning here is gone..."

Then, the bus finally arrives.

Before she could even stand up, she holds my hand, leans forward, wraps her other hand around me, and whispers, "we'll meet again, will we?"

I couldn't let her hand go for a moment... because I know, once I do, I'll never be able to hold it again.

Still, she insists to let go.

I could just watch her turned back with tears. In a matter of second, she's climbing the bus, refusing to look at me even for the last time.

Until the end, Ji Ae didn't even ask me to throw everything away for her...if she only ask me to, then I would be more than willing to.

But, what should I do?

When...it's actually me that she's throwing away?