My Broken Mate (Man x Man)

Chapter 22

Connor's P.O.V

I didn't think my life would change so drastically but thinking back to how my life was with Mark, I remember that it had happened before, when my parents died and Mark had entered my life, uprooting it and ruining me.

However, this change wasn't a bad one, it just was something I wasn't expecting but I prayed, hoped, and wished it would happen and now that it's here, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel.

At first, I was scared, scared of everything, scared of this change, wondering if it would be good or bad, would it hurt me more then I already was? Or would it be my light on a stormy day?

With, most change comes the uncertainty of what might be ahead.

Will I be happy with this change?

Or will I suffer?

But now that the initial scare of the unknown has passed, I can say that it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.

Sure, I'm now living with a pack of werewolves, and they are always dangers lurking in the shadows, in this case, rogues and hunters, and yeah, Mark was still out there, with an arrest warrant out for him, so it won't be long before he's caught, because of this I no longer feel as frightened as I was before, I also think it may have something to do with me having a soulmate, who happens to the alpha/leader of this werewolf pack.

The bond that we share, helps with my fear.

The psychological damage Mark dealt me, still haunts my mind, but with Jasper and his family there supporting and helping me, I don't feel as alone as I use to feel in that cold dark basement room in Mark's house.

I also now see a therapist, who has been helping me with this trauma, I've only had one session with the doctor but knowing that I want to get better soon, really helps in getting through the meeting. The doctor suggested that going back to school, getting a hobby, and just doing normal teenage things might help me get better faster. It would be a great way to get my mind from thinking and reliving those experiences with Mark, finding interest in something positive and productive will help me cope with my trauma.

The problem is, I don't know what I like or want to do, I remember hating school and I wasn't a kid who liked sports or had any hobbies, I mostly stayed at home watching TV and stuffing my face with junk food.

Whenever, I was asked that obnoxious question of what I wanted to be when I grew up I never had an answer, I genuinely had no clue as to what I wanted to do for the rest of my life, no goals I wanted to achieve, no dreams, nothing I was passionate about.

And now I still drew a blank, not sure what I want to do.

When I was in Mark's torture house, I was living a nightmare both during the day and in my dreams. However, there was, on one or two occasions where the dream gods would take pity on me, sending me dreams of hope, of better days, where my parents were still alive and we would live happily until I woke up the next day, and I think that is what had kept me from completely losing my mind, it would be the dreams of love and happiness, I could have if I believed that I could be saved, that Mark would get the punishments he deserved from the way he treated me, those dreams comforted me and kept me going for a long time, they were my only purpose of living, maybe life might get better for me, maybe I might find happiness.

Now I needed a new purpose to live and that purpose is Jasper.

When school restarts, I'll try to find something that interests me, but in the meantime, I need a hobby, so I might try something to occupy my time, something that doesn't involve James and videos games, maybe something healthy like gardening, or maybe reading, cooking, maybe singing, drawing/painting? I'm not sure what I what to do.