The Boy I Knew

Chapter Seventeen

TW?: NSFW THEMES

The next few weeks were.. hectic. Strange, even for me. Gizmo was back, and he seemed pretty happy to see me. I'm glade, though; it's a miracle that he survived without the help of humans. Unless someone took him in after he got out, but there's no way I'll ever know.

The group left to go back to Nockfell, other than Travis who had taken a business offer here. He liked to travel for work, so he was never pinned down to one spot; that kinda mentality and adventurousness nature only just started, and it seemed very out of the blue for him.

And dad.. apparently he got an apartment somewhere in the city, Victoria's idea of course. So I had to deal with that, and eventually I'd have to face the man that caused me years of mental torture. He only hit he twice, once after... the incident when I walked around without my prosthetic on, and once after I came out three years ago to him. That day was the first day I stood up to him, and he left for rehab immediately after. Now that I think about it I wish I hadn't been so mean to Tory- she's a nice woman, and that day she saw him hit me. After he left for rehab she came down and gave me a mini flag that was wrapped around a little wooden post. I, not sure if she had it before, or if she went out and bought it, but it was a nice gesture and it was the first time we bonded. Still, that didn't stop me from being an ass to her. I really need to apologize..

As for Larry.. fuck that's a train wreck. It seems like I'm watching our friendship slowly crumble in front of me, and it's falling into tiny pieces that make it impossible for me to put back together. He seemed super distant, unless he was asking for small favors that is. If I get him food he seems hesitant to ask for it special made, but if he wants a quickie in the bathroom? He has no trouble asking. He's high every chance he gets, he's more irritable lately, and it seems like all he wants to do when he hangs out is bob heads. And not in the metal way.

I feel like I should talk to him, but what would I say? "Hey I know we promised to keep this casual but I'd rather have a deep connection with you. It causes me physical pain that we can't just be normal adults and fucking open up once and a while, and I'm not talking about legs." Yeah, that'd go over real well. Maybe I need to just get over him.. I mean, we're not dating so that means that the sea is open for fishing, right? Let's hope because I need some actual affection otherwise I'm gunna go crazy.

Those are the only crazy things, though. Stuff got weird around the house- doors open/close by themselves, faucets spring to life with seemingly no reason to, rooms would grow increasingly colder with no explanation, and things would go missing only to return in a very obvious place a few days later. It was freaking me out, and had gotten to the point where I was tempted to pull out my old modified game system. That is if I had packed it. Either way my plans for today didn't involve the supernatural, so I shoved the topic out of my mind and got ready for the day.

My plan was to get a partner. A true one, not a cum chum. Not that I wanted anyone other than Larry, but I figured if I at least found someone nice they might be able to help me get him out of my head. The problem was the whom. Who would want to date a faceless freak like me? Everyone I know is taken or routing for the other team, and it feels like without Larry I have no one. Fuck this sucks, and the fact that there's this annoying gal at the door doesn't help.

Oh wait- someone's knocking. I rolled my eyes, walking out of my room to answer the door. And of course, it was the smug face that I was thinking about mere seconds ago. He leaned against the doorway, offering up a small smile.

"Hey." Larry grinned, running his hands through his hair gently. I frowned a bit, gnawing at my lip.

"Sup.." I mumbled, rubbing the back of my neck. Honestly the sight of him made me want to just... drop to my knees right here right now but.. I can't. I have self control, at least I should have it.

"You Alright?" He asked, the tiredness tugging at his voice in a beautiful way. Compassion was practically written across his forehead, as his eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Y-Yeah. Just a bit tired." I replied with a small nod. I invited him inside, my brain telling me not to. Telling me to just leave it, take him inside, sit him down on the couch and talk to him. Or.. no. Nuh uh, nope. "A-Anyway..." I started, rubbing the back of my neck once again as if it would transport me anywhere but here.

"Talk to me, dude." Larry stated firmly, messing with my hair absentmindedly.

"No. No because.. fuck, I'm scared, ok?? You're gunna hate me, you're gunna scream, then.. then you'll leave." I let out a shaky sigh, looking away from him. "Feelings don't get involved with FWB situations, right? Let's just get on with it and-" my sentence trailed off as he laughed sharply, but it was in a wry way.

"Wait, is that what this is about? Do you- do you actually think that just because I've jacked you off it means we can't talk like normal human beings? We're still friends, close ones, hell its in the name; friends with benefits. And that's not even why I came over here, I literally just wanted to hang out." Larry stated nonchalantly, smiling a bit.

"I don't want to be fucking friends, Larry! I want to be more, a-and I know you're not ready for that, but I can NOT keep doing this! This whole casual intimacy thing is killing me! I love it, I love it so much, but it leaves me empty each time because I know that you're not mine. I just- I can do it, Larry. It hurts too much... knowing you're so close, yet so far, just far enough to be out of reach... I am so so sorry.. but I just... no.." I shook my head, tears dancing down my cheeks and pooling at the bottom of my mask.

"Sal.." he started. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear the rejection, or the shouting, so I left.

He protested.

He followed me. He grabbed my shoulders and with tears in his eyes he begged me to stay. I thought about it, tossing the tempting idea around in my head. So many pros, yet so so many cons.

"Please Larry... I just need some time to think"

With that, I left him there, sulking sadly in the middle of my house as I marched down the street towards an unknown destination.