stay away

this is too much

Mew squeezed his eyes when the sun hit them. He forgot to pull the blinds down usually gulf then mew sat up remembering the day before. He breathed in slowly getting off the bed.   He gulped when he saw a note hanging on his door. Quickly taking the note he breathed out a sign of relieve.
"Im staying at technos."
Gulf just needed some space mew hated he had to leave but he repected his decision even thou his heart ached.  He pushed himself forward looking to the side he signed again. Gulf didn't touch the chocolates.
At technos gulf sat outside. He'd stayed for a week. He blocked mew from his phone he couldn't talk to him yet. The bad feeling was too much for gulf he didn't know what to do. Thoughts plauged him. He barly ate and barly slept. Techno wasent there much because of kla but gulf was fine with that he needed to think. He breathed out weighing his options.  Gulf wanted to go back to his mother's. He shivered when he thought about going back to his mom's without mew but he couldn't stand what he had done to mew at the restraunt. He couldn't stand the rejection. He couldn't stand the memory of that woman's hand on mews. Gulf closed his eyes and let tears fall. Mew probably thought of me has a snot nosed kid. Gulf knew he was acting like one that day especially but After what he saw the way the woman touched mew he couldn't help it. He knew his body craved mew. He knew emotionally he wanted mew. Gulf put his arms around himself. He didn't know he was this lonely. He didn't know he was this into mew. Why did he have to feel this way? Why did mew have to see the worst side of him? Gulf knew he wanted to be with mew but maybe this was just not going to work. He felt like a kid. I have to go back to my mom's. I have to forget mew. I need to forget everything. This situation was doomed from the start. There going to be step brothers in 10 months. What will happen then? Gulf stood up leaning against the hand rail. He closed his eyes. I've never felt this way before, i need to end it. I need to go back to my mom's before i can hurt mew more with my childness. Mew deserves someone better.
Gulf left technos driving back to mews house. It didnt even feel like his home. Going through the door he froze mew was on the couch looking towards the door. He stood up Gulf grimaced. Breathing in gulf put his head phones in his ears blasting his music. He walked past mew with his back pack heading to his room. Don't look at him don't look at him. He repeated.
Mew let him go without holding him back. Gulf went straight into his room locking the door. He couldn't leave with mew being there.
Mew sat back on the couch looking at gulfs door half smiling. At least he came back home.
Another week past and gulf was cold to mew. He didn't eat the food he left for him and he made sure to keep his music blaring and his door locked. Gulf heart ached eveytime he tried to leave. He's heart ached when he stole a glance at mews face. He could tell mew was depressed. When mew was not there because he was at the restraunt gulf felt hauntly Alone. Being in this house he just wanted mew but gulf knew mew could do better.
At the soccor field he sat down lost in thought. Techno came with a ball trying to get gulfs attention. Nothing. He finally signed hard and sat down. Pulling gulf out of his concentration he looked at techno.
"What's wrong gulf?"
Gulf shrugged.
"Gulf please tell me."
"I'm going home."
"Good you need to talk to mew, i can tell you two haven't made up."
"No I'm going to go back to my mom's."
Techno looked questionally at gulf.
"Why?"
Gulf breathed in closing his eyes.
"I can't stand this feeling anymore and mew deserves better."
"Gulf i already told you, he deserves you."
"I'm just a kid in his eyes."
"You know thats not true."
"Doesn't matter I've been thanking about this for awhile now." "This type of relationship may work for you and kla but you two actually see each other." "I just can't. I don't want to feel anymore i don't want to hurt anymore." "I don't want to hurt him anymore."
Techno scratched his head and put his arm on gulfs shoulder.
"Sounds like to me your in love."
"Love?" Gulf twitched.
He'd never been in love before. Was that this feeling? Not jealousy but love? He shook his head.
"No, it cant be that."
"Why not?"
Gulf shrugged. He moved technos arm from his shoulder and left.
I've made up my mind.
He went home and packed his suitcase. The word techno used kept echoing in his mind. Love? Is that what this is? Gulf has never been in love with anyone he didn't quite understand it. He shooked his head. Turning around he froze hanging his head. Mew was behind him. Mew looked at gulfs suitcase then back to his hanging head. He signed.
"Back to technos?"
Gulf gritted his teeth.
"No I'm going back to.live with my mother."
Mew frozed.