✓ starting line . [ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟ]

.two.

stressstressstress―a feeling, to me, is the
need to do the thing but also feeling like
i'm not doing it right; the tension, the
struggle of breathing ( or sleeping ) with-
out my chest tensing as i start to panic,
and the knowing that i'm not doing as
good as my siblings, or determined as
what my parents were when they were my
age, or how most people my age truly
have their life completely balanced.

and there's always this little thing that re-
minds me that i'm me and not them, but
it's normal to want to be something―
someone―more, right? so i keep on with
this toxic-ish loop of notgoodenoughnot-
goodenoughnotgoodenough in hopes of
it, one day, actually pushing me to want
to do something instead of just mentally
picking at myself and not feel so bad
about merely existing.

but...hopefully this will pass, i'll figure
out what i'm supposed to be doing with
my life, and i'll be able to do the things
i want while doing so instead of holding
onto the things that / are/ hurting me.