"Tattoos on my body are just inner scars." ~G.S.
People say that the best thing in life is your happiness or your career because that will make you truly happy, I, however, think everyone has something that makes them truly happy. Whether it be a career, a person, chocolate, or something simple. For me, my true happiness came today. After nine hours of labor, I gave birth. She was beautiful, all the pain that I had just endured was worth it.
"How are you feeling?" I looked up at Darren and Lex who had been by my side for the last nine hours. I smiled as Darren placed the little girl in my arms. He placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Thank you, I am so proud of you."
"We made her," I told him with a bit of disbelief in my voice, I looked over at Lex and she was filled with joy, there was no pain. I knew her more than I knew myself. "Lex we're parents." Lex moved closer to me and sat on the bed. I laid my head on her. "If anything happens to me, you are her mother too. Promise me you will love her as you own?"
"Jo, I already love her as if she is mine." I smiled. We were not in the best situation but we made the best of it. Lex and Darren were going to get married and I was certain of that. I took a good look at my daughter.
"You three have a name?" I looked up to see a nurse.
"Amelia," I answered.
"Hope," Darren added.
"Amelia Hope Lincoln-Matthews." Lex complete.
After a month of Amelia being born, we fell into a good routine. Darren understood that the first year was going to be hard for me to be far from her because I needed to feed her. He would sleep over many nights to help out with her. He would check up on us every morning, nights that he couldn't come by Lex would.
Our routine was not perfect but it worked for us. At some point, as Amelia got older I debated on focusing on her and going back to school when she was older but Darren talked me out of it. He had just started his photography career and it was going up. He is a month away from opening his own studio.
When he did we couldn't be prouder of him and all the hard work he had put into the studio. By the time Amelia was eight months we master the co-parenting routine and learned to help each other.
Tonight neither of them could come. I was on my own. My mother and brothers were out of town for Harvey's game tomorrow and her husband was here for a meeting he had tomorrow morning but he wasn't thrilled about the fact that I had a baby and was seriously debating dropping out of college to focus on her.
I put her down in her crib and laid down myself to get some rest. The amount of sleep you lose when you have a baby is unbelievable. Darren woke me up the next morning and I was shocked that I had actually slept through a whole night. When he asked me for Amelia I pointed to the crib.
"She is not here."
"She has to be," I told him, I felt the panic in me built up but Darren stayed calm. We looked around and even called the police. After Amelia was gone for 24 hours we knew she has been kidnap but a part of me thinks that my mother's husband has to do with her going missing.
The way that this woman could get under my skin was another level of being annoyed. Who was she to Justice? What was she doing for Justice, and most of all why was she so touchy with Justice? I thought Justice had a boyfriend. As I got closer to the table where they were sitting I put on my best smile.
"Hi, how are yall doing today." I greeted, "I'm Jo and I will be your waitress today. Any drinks I can get you started with?" Each of them let me know what they wanted to drink and eat. The second Lex saw Justice she offered to switch with me but I assure her that I was fine. I was very much capable of doing my job.
Justice and the women stayed at Reyes for three hours and it was killing me but it was also near the end of my shift. Like always I went around and let everyone know that I was leaving. When I was at Justice's table I was shocked by what she did.
"Dee this is Jo. My baby mama." Again I grinned from ear to ear at the stupid words that she said. The woman who I now knew was Dee reached her hand out to me and I shook it. Dee told me she is Justice's manager. In other words, she was responsible for making sure Justice's money was well taken care of and that she had a good public image. "I'm going to take you home," Justice told me.
"That's not needed Justice," I assure her, I could tell that the words upset her but I could not leave with her when I and Darren were going to down to the police station. I looked over at Lex and waved her to come with us.
When we made it to the police station the officer offered me a pity smile. Officer Nelson had been the one that went to my house when the accident happened.
When I was in her reach she hugged me. We followed her to her office, she was now Detective Nelson. In her office, we went over Amelia's case and the events of that day. When we were finished Detective Nelson let us know that if anything of the case changed we would be notified right away.
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I knew that Justice wasn't happy with me I could tell because even if she still showed up and picked me up from work, her silence gave her anger away. When I tried to have a conversation with her responses were short.
Today was different though she did not show up for me. Justice texted me to tell me that her boyfriend would be picking me up and taking me to my doctor's appointment. The idea did not sit well with me. I did not know him at all, but then again he is Justice's boyfriend and the father of the child I am carrying.
When he arrived, however, he did not seem so thrilled about the fact. "Hurry up so we can get this over with." He told me. I gave him the best smile I could and tried to think of anything that would make me feel comfortable.
Justice never showed up to the appointment and I hated to admit that a part of me was hurt, but it was not my place to be hurt about what she was doing with her life. The car drive back to Reyes was quiet as well.
When I got off he got off with me. He followed me inside. I really wasn't sure why he was following me inside but my gut was telling me that it couldn't be any good. I decided to ignore the feeling however and went to the locker room to change.
"We need to talk." I turned around and saw that it was Justice's boyfriend.
"About?"
"Look I don't want Justice having this kid so how much money is it going to take you to go away?" I could tell that when he saw my reaction he knew he might have made a huge mistake. "It's not what you think. I love Justice but this kid, it is going to ruin us."
I was not going to give him a response so I just walked out to my job. It seemed as Jordan was not aware of how to leave a subject alone. I decided that the best thing to do was ignore him and go straight to work but he refused to get the hint.
"Please just leave me alone," I begged, but he kept talking nonsense about what was my price. Before I could answer anything else Darren was escorting Jordan out of Reyes. Which gave me relief.
Darren walked me to my house after that and we talked the whole way, which I knew gave Lex some peace of mind about the situation. Lex, in the end, wanted more than anything for Darren and I was to have a heart to heart because she was right, no one understood the pain I was feeling besides him after all Amelia was his daughter too. He just like me lost a part of his heart the day Amelia went missing.
"How are you doing?" I asked him.
"I feel sad that we don't have any new information about her, what about you?"
"I'm doing okay." I lied, "I should go check on the boys." I gave Darren a quick hug and left. I know my daughter is out there I just hope we find her soon.
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