The Surrogate (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 5

"Because if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back... then that love had to be real. It hurt too much to be anything else." ~Sarah Cross

My last lecture was finally over and I was ready to go home and sleep, but that wasn't the plan for today. My girlfriend, Justice, was going to pick me up so we could have dinner together. When I made it to the parking lot she was right there waiting for me. I smiled, entered the car, and was instantly filled with joy. She always brightened my day and made me smile. I am going to marry this woman one day. 

"How was school love?" She asked after I kiss her. 

"Same old, same old. My math professor gave a pop quiz that I am pretty sure I failed." Justice chuckled softly. 

"I am positive you did fine." I laughed. She started the car and we left. I did not pay attention as she drove. I listened to music and watched her drive. How did I get this lucky? She is a dam work of art, I know that for a fact I am the luckiest person alive to have her. 

"Hey what are we doing at my place?" I had realized she stopped in front of my house. She had placed the car in park and shifted in her seat to face me. I could see her fighting tears. "What's wrong?" 

"We need to talk." My heart dropped at those four words. Those four words made my stomach turn. I knew that whatever she was going to say next is going to leave me crying. I nodded my head to let her know to go on. "You are an amazing person." She paused.

"Just say it." 

"I think right now we need to go our separate ways. We make an amazing couple but I am starting my company and I need to focus on it one hundred percent. Maybe in a couple of years, we will meet again and be ready to be together." 

I wiped the tears I felt. I got out of the car. I said goodbye to her and walked into my house. Thankfully no one was home. I did not want anyone to see me like this. 

    I was hoping more than anything in my life that I had dreamed about what happened two days ago but it wasn't. It was one hundred percent real, Justice was the mother of this baby. She was right though, I did keep my promise. I was giving her a baby even if the baby wasn't in any way related to me I was bringing her child into this world. I always thought we would end up like this but I was hoping that we would be married and that she would be with me every morning when I woke up. 

Life was funny though after we broke up I didn't want to live, it took me a long time to get back to being myself. To be able to go to the places we went together because every time I went they would ask for her, but when the magazines with the interviews started coming out the questions stopped. For that I was grateful and eventually, everyone in our town forgot about us and I went back to being me. To being the girl that lived in her books and in her words. When my mother passed away I was back into the mouth of everyone. Everyone asked questions every day about how I was doing, or how the boys were holding up. It was an endless tunnel of questions.

I looked at Cayden and sighed. I had just changed him and he managed to get himself dirty again. I turned around for one minute to wash some dishes and he stained himself with chocolate. I picked him up and chuckled. "I look away for one minute and you get yourself full of chocolate. You need a shower." 

I gave him a quick shower and by the time I was done changing him, I heard the door open. I was guessing that the boys were home from school. I was right but I heard an extra voice and that was alarming. When I walked into the living room it was Justice. 

"I'm sorry," Harvey said. "I tried to keep her out but she said that you were her surrogate?" He gave me a questioning look and I gave a small nod. Harvey looked away and I knew he was scared, he was one of the few that saw me completely heartbroken over Justice. 

"What can I do for you?" I asked Justice. 

"Wanted to take you guys out to dinner to make sure you ate. You know considering..." She pointed her hand to me and I gave an unsettled nod. This was going to be my reality for the next couple of months or until I pushed this baby out of me. I looked at the boys and they knew they had to go get ready. 

   We ended up eating at Lino's, which I admit hurt a little bit we use to go eat there all the time when we were dating. It was Justice's favorite place for pizza and mine for the signature pasta they sold. The boys ate and went to play in the arcade that was in the resturant, while Justice and I talked about anything but the elephant in the room. 

As we went on having a meaningless conversation. Her phone lit up and I saw the photo. It was a picture of her and a man, by the looks of the photo they were together.  "You two are cute together." 

"Thank you," Justice said. I hated that I felt like if my heart was breaking I still loved this girl after all this time, after all these years my heart still beats her name. My heart still hopes that it's me and her in the end. That when she decided not to be with me that it was just a temporary set back, that we would find our way back to each other. I was really hoping that we could be us again and we would look back at the time we spent apart and see it as a small bump on the beautiful journey that was our love. 

"Are you seeing anyone?" 

"No." I looked down at Cayden who had just woke up from his nap. He was calm in the car seat. "The only people I need in my life are my three boys." 

"Three?" 

"My brothers, and Cayden. Nothing else is more important than them." I explained. 

"Well," Justice took a second to think of what she was going to say "Aren't you suppose to be graduating soon?" 

"I dropped out this year," I confessed and I could see her disappointment she was always my biggest supporter when it came to school, I knew what she wanted to ask so I answered her before she could ask. "Life got in the way, Justice." 

"What could have possibly gotten in the way?" 

"My parents died!" I shouted louder than I wanted to. Her hand instantly reached for mine. She gently squeezed it and I remembered what it felt like to be home. I remember what it felt like to have the support of someone that meant the world to you. I pulled away from her and looked away from her. 

"I think we should go," I told her as I reached to pick up the car seat but she took the car seat from me. She didn't fight me so I went to get my brothers and they complained because they wanted to stay and play a little bit longer. They knew, however, I was serious and we were leaving.