The Ace of Spades

Chapter 16

Toto was born on a snowy night in February about 5 years ago. Mea would turn 11 soon, but at the time she wasn't quite yet. It often boggled her how her parents decided to wait so many years before having another child, especially since there were only 2 years between Mea and her older sister. Mea hoped her new sibling would be a boy, a little brother for the family. Jojo was indifferent about the gender, simply hoping the baby would be born healthy and alive. At 13, Jojo was just learning about pregnancy and all the nightmares associated. Jojo worried the baby would be born a stillborn, or with some freakish defect. From the safety of the diaper aisle at the local department store, Jojo confessed to Mea that she probably wouldn't be able to love the baby if it was ugly.

The night in February was long anticipated, Mea counted down the days until the family's next greatest love would be born. When the day came, Mea imagined it as something from the early 20th century, where most babies were born at home and hospitals were few and far between. Jojo would act as Mimi's midwife, and Mea as Jojo's faithful assistant. Mimi would be propped up comfortably on the burgundy rug that lay in the living room, protecting her from the draft that somehow seemed to always seep in from the ground below. And their father would perch in his armchair, squeezing his wife's hand and whispering words of love and encouragement to her as she screamed and writhed in agony. The snow would fall in thick globs from the sky, flakes racing to the ground, the wind gusting and blowing, a picture of a true winter blizzard, but her family would be safe in the warmth of their home, protected from the elements.

Mea knew it wasn't like that, though. There were many technicalities that prevented her family from being the poster of love, affection, and normality. Jojo explained that hospitals offered an epidural, something that would graciously reduce and numb Mimi's pain. They owned a car, so they would drive to the local hospital, and no makeshift midwifery would be needed. Mea knew, also, that she wouldn't really like to be a midwife, or even an assistant to one. The blood and fluids that came out sticky on the newborn after 40 weeks or so of time growing in the uterus was enough to make Mea's stomach turn and twist. Jojo didn't seem all that interested in being the one doing all the real messy work either. And above all the advances in the technology that surrounded pregnancy and labour, there was the dynamic of their parents' relationship.

Mimi had only arrived that evening just before dinner after being gone all day. Their father, Doug, looked like he wanted to ask where she'd been (as did Jojo and Mea) but he didn't. Jojo told Mea he probably knew anyways and only asked because he was hurt, she explained that hurt people in relationships were so vulnerable and also so angry. Mea took her word for it, Jojo had been in lots of relationships whilst Mea didn't even have any friends. Mimi went into labour before she had gotten home, her contractions getting increasingly closer together, and before long Doug drove her to the hospital in his old green truck. Jojo and Mea were left at home, the look on Doug's face as he shut the front door forever burned into Mea's mind. He looked so hurt, so upset, and not the least bit excited for the baby.

Doug was a good man, more loyal than Mimi despite his anger and substance abuse. He played with his daughters and took them to the park often. He taught them to ride a bike and tie their shoelaces and a plethora of other small victories listed in the intro of a Franklin and Friends episode. When Mimi was off - who knows where - Doug was there. He told the best jokes and had a deep laugh. He was a different person when sober, a different person when Mimi wasn't around. Jojo and Mea spent a lot of time trying to take Mimi off his mind, just to see how fun he could really get.

The new baby was called Topher, a name Mimi probably picked out of her ass, and immediately nicknamed Toto. He had little tufts of dark, dark hair atop his head and beady brown eyes. In the first few weeks that followed, he looked little more than an unfortunate plucked chicken, and cried at inane hours of the night. He got more adorable with time though, and Mea feels genuinely bad for Doug that he never got to see his only son grow up. Mea remembers the day he left, too, just as fondly as she recalls the day Toto was born.