Insomnia (GxG-Mature-Filipino English)

.One

Magtaka ka na if life is too easy for you, no hard times, no hurdles, problems-- Nil. They say hindi naman mawawala 'yon habang nag papanic or stress ka, so learn to deal with it.

Easy to say, there will come a time that it will stand in front and above you, trapped against its shadow at maghihintay ka na lang na mabagsakan nito.

Well, today is my lucky day.

Got 32 missed calls from my family and guess what they want me to do.

To send them cash.

May kaya ang pamilya namin, we live fairly decent, nakapagtapos ako with latin honor and now working in Manila but my brother got indebted to a well known politician. His debt was big, three million to be exact, it's big enough for me to jump into that grave by marrying the Governor's son.

I sent a quick message to Mom.

'Hahanap ako ng paraan, I'll send the 500,000.00 on Saturday.'

Kung ibebenta ko ang kidneys ko, maybe I can sum up 250,000.00 pesos by Friday.
Still not enough.
It's Wednesday, the pressure is slowly consuming me.

"Ember, you're up in 5 minutes." That's the signal, I scurry to get my bow and violin.

At least makakatugtog ako for the last time before I sell my kidney. Sean would be surprised this time, sisiguraduhin kong I'll put a lot of personal arrangement in the  performance.

I have three jobs, office work from 8:00am to 5:00pm, waitress from 5:30 to 9:30pm and a live violin performer sa isang kilalang exclusive restaurant from 10:00pm to 2:00am.
Thanks to the traffic, I need to get up early in the morning para hindi ma-late sa work kaya nakakatulog ako ng 3 to 4 hours a day, swerte na if 4 hours but this week halos 2 to 3 hours na lang.

There's something different in the atmosphere ng restaurant tonight, konti lang ang guests, positive na may darating na VIP.
Never pa akong nakapag perform in front of them since they usually arrive around 7:00pm to 9:00pm for dinner.

"Darating ang CEO ng Ludovice Corporation, she will be occupying the third table in front of you, you know what to do."

"Okay, Sean."

Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng kaba, nagpeperform lang kasi ako for myself, to ease some stress and once sa isang celebration sa work. Lucky for me, Sean was there watching and offered me a job na hindi ko ma-refuse dahil sa nangyari, this is clearly out of my comfort zone.

Running my hand through long wavy locks, I slowly walk to the center of the hall. The place never fail to amaze me, it screams elegance, undeniably made only for the elites.
For this night, I want to stand for the first set, para mas ma-igalaw ko ang arms ko for better execution, I'm taking it all out tonight kahit may VIP na darating.

Steadying the violin on my shoulder, end gently grazing my collarbone, I carefully aimed the bow, here it goes.

The first piece is nostalgic, yung gugustuhin mong bumalik sa nakaraan at baguhin ito, it's a combination of melancholic rhythm that'll eventually turn into an optimistic tempo.
Mozart and Bach's arrangements became my inspiration but the piece is my own composition, very personal to me.

Pinilit kong i-maintain ang reserved semblance ng dining hall but my emotions got ahead of me and before I knew it, I was playing like I'm in a concerto, not caring if the patrons are staring or if Sean would reprimand me for my reckless action.
Please let me, it will be the last time.

I brought a dash of grief into my music yet hinting a bit of hope. Hinayaang kong sumabay ang aking katawan sa bawat nota at kahit ganoon, sinigurado ko parin na precise ang execution.