self-acceptance // reddie

four

"It's movie time!" Beverly squealed as she plopped onto the couch in between Bill and Ben, pulling Eddie onto her lap. "What are we watching?" As a way to test the waters of Eddie joining the Losers Club, they all decided to have a movie night to see how they would all bond together. Bev was ecstatic to have another friend, and she had already become attached to Eddie.

"Well, my dear chap," Richie's voice resembled an older British man. "We thought that as a way to let our darling Eds become accustomed to our lovely group, he could choose the movie! What'd you picks, Eds?"

"Don't call me that," Eddie was clearly blushing, attempting to hide his face in Bev's shoulder. "I chose Clueless because it's my favorite movie! I also like how Cher and Dion bring Tai into their group when she didn't really have anyone." Before Eddie could shove his face back into Bev, he glanced longingly at Richie for a moment. He thought no one noticed, but Stan happened to be a very observant teenager. Sometimes, bird watching can be helpful in more ways than one.

"Oh, Eddie Spaghetti!" Richie clutched his chest dramatically. "Yer' just a sucka' for friendship, aren't ya?" Eddie rolled his eyes and nailed Richie between the eyes with a piece of popcorn, and the taller boy pretended to fall off his chair. "You wound me, Eds!" Beverly quickly shushed Richie as the opening scene started to play on the television.

After a movie full of popcorn fights and outbursts of laughter, the group of friends were out of ideas to entertain themselves.

"Oh, I know!" Beverly's head popped up as though a light bulb sat above her head. "Let's play truth or dare!" Richie groaned in response, knowing that he should have seen this coming. "Oh, come on, Rich! It's truth or dare, it's just for fun!"

As Beverly pressured everyone to agree to the game, they aligned themselves into a circle on Bill's basement floor. 

"Eddie," Beverly smirked at the newest boy in their group. "Since you're our special guest tonight, I'll start with you. Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Eddie answered confidently. "Hit me with your best shot." Beverly grinned in response, already feeling an absurd amount of love in her heart for the sweet boy in front of her. Richie's heart felt nearly overwhelmingly full at how well Eddie was fitting into their little group; he knew that this was where he belonged. He didn't understand why whenever he thought of the boy, a swarm of butterflies gathered in his stomach. He'd have to figure that out later.

"Okay, honey," Beverly closed her eyes to allow herself to think - this had to be a good one. "What is the most controversial thing you've ever done? Or what was something that you did that someone else didn't like?" As soon as the questions escaped her lips, she realized just how obvious they sounded. She, along with Stan, had seen the longing gazes between Richie and Eddie. Beverly needed to be absolutely sure of Eddie's sexuality before she would attempt to play matchmaker./

"Well, it might sound pretty dumb," Eddie sighed out, a hint of laughter in his voice. "But there was this guy online that totally harassed me for painting my nails." He stretched out his fingers, displaying his hand to his new friends. None of them had noticed that shades of green and black polished his fingernails. It didn't bother me too much because I'm proud of who I am. Honestly, it just made me feel sad for him. I would hate to be so insecure that I resort to harassing someone who actually has confidence."

"Shit," Richie felt a yank in his heart. He couldn't understand how someone could be unhappy when they were looking at Eddie Kaspbrak. "I'm sorry that people suck so fucking much, but I'm glad that you know how amazing you are, Eds."

"Not my name, Rich," Eddie looked up to meet Richie's gaze, smiling softly. "But I really do appreciate your concern. I'm in touch with my feminine side - I think that's okay." Every word that came from Eddie's mouth made Richie's heart melt more and more. What was happening to him? Only girls were supposed to make him feel like this. What was wrong with him?

"Well," Beverly interjected, a huge grin spreading across her face. "I guess we have something to bond over!" She stuck out her hand, showing off the glittery polish.

"Okay, Bill," Eddie turned to Bill. "Truth or dare?"

***

Maggie jumped as she heard a knock at the door, distracting her from her job of dusting the shelves. She rushed over to open it, smiling as she saw who was waiting.

"Hi, Eddie!" She grinned, remembering the boy she had met at the coffee shop. "Come in! Does Richie know that you're here?"

"No," Eddie chuckled, feeling his cheeks turn rosy. "I decided to surprise him. A good friend will always bring comic books and snacks!" Maggie already felt a connection to Eddie and she knew that he would be a fantastic friend for Richie. "Can I head on up to his room?" He was shooed away and he ran up the stairs quickly, excited to see his friend. Before he could even knock on the door, he heard muffled cries coming from inside the bedroom. "Rich? Can I come in? Are you okay?" He only heard louder sobs in return, so he pushed the door open. The sight of Richie's face smothered in his pillow caught Eddie's eyes. "Richie!" He rushed over, needing to check on his friend. "What's going on? Are you okay?"

"What are you doing here?" Richie sniffled and blinked his eyes, clearly confused. "Who let you in?" Eddie was able to get a good look at him and his red eyes and blotchy, tear-stained cheeks. It made his heart break. "Please don't laugh at me, Eds."

"Richie, no!" Eddie lunged forward to hug the sad boy, nearly allowing tears to escape his eyes. "Rich, I would only ever laugh at you if you told a funny joke."

"I'm not even funny," he cried, his sobs growing louder and harder. "I'm so fucking stupid, Eds, you don't even know. I hate myself so much and I don't even know why I'm alive. Like, nobody even likes me so I don't know why I even try anymore. It's just so fucking pointless. And look at me now, just oversharing my whole life story even though you don't even care. Why can't I stop talking, oh my God!" Eddie was nearly in tears from listening to the man that he thinks so highly of talking so lowly of himself.

"Richie, no," Eddie finally gave in and let the waterworks begin. "Rich, you're already one of my best friends and we haven't even known each other that long. Like, I'm so glad that I met you because you make my life better than I ever expected it could be. I don't want you to doubt your worth, Rich! To me, you're worth every good thing in this fucked up world. I promise you that you're not annoying." Both the boys were sobbing at this point, holding each other. "I am so happy that you're alive, Rich." Eddie finally said as they both started to calm down, their breathing getting under control. "You mean so much to me, you really do. Can you promise me something?" Richie nodded, wiping his eyes. "Can you promise to call me or text me any time that you're feeling like this?"

"But Eds," he shook his head. "I'm so annoying already, and I don't want to bother you by texting you. I just don't want to bring you down with my negative ass." Richie chuckled, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "With humor, I can cope with anything. Ya feel me? I'm doing so great, dude. I have never been better." Eddie stared at him with eyes full of sadness and sympathy. He cared so much about the boy in front of him, maybe even a little too much.

"Well, I brought comic books and cosmic brownies," Eddie grinned uncontrollably at the sight of Richie's face lighting up at the mention of brownies. "Ready to feast and read." As he handed Richie a brownie, their hands touched for a split second, and Eddie would go to his grave swearing that there were sparks.

***

A/N: heyyyy guys look @ me i actually updated!! it's been 3 months, but lemme tell ya, writers block SUCKS. this chapter is trash and i'm feeling horrible about my writing, but i just really wanted to update. k thanks byeeeeee!!