Richie felt his heart beating nearly a million times a minute as he sat in the driver's seat of his car. He allowed himself to process what had just happened: the boy he met, the way he smiled, and how he made him feel. Why did Eddie make Richie feel things he had never felt before? What was it about this certain barista that made his heart swoon? He pulled out his phone and called Stan, only to be immediately sent to voicemail.
"Where are you? Are you at work still? We need to go for a drive. Meet me at the clubhouse – it's an emergency." Richie spoke into the voicemail box, sighing contently. He pulled out of his parking space with Eddie still on his mind. He started to follow the roads that led to the park and turned the knob for the radio. He felt his lips turn into a smile as the tune to his favorite song started playing.
"Did I do something wrong? This feeling's unfair," Richie sang out, allowing the words to flow freely from his mouth. "You're making me anxious but why the fuck do I care? I overthink everything til' my thoughts are impaired. I hate everything about me - I think I need some air." He tapped on the steering wheel as his brain absorbed the words to what seemed to be the theme song to his life; Richie was always able to find himself in the words he spoke. He heard a ding sound from his phone, and he eagerly accepted the phone call. "Hello?" He had never been so excited to talk to Stan before.
"Hey, Rich," Stan chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone call. "I'm heading out to the clubhouse right now – is everything okay?"
"Oh, Stan the Man!" Richie couldn't help the even bigger grin spreading on his face. "I have the best news ever!" He parked his car on the side of the street just outside of the woods. "I just got to the clubhouse - I'm going to wait in my car until you get here, okay?"
"Sounds like a plan! I'm excited, but, honestly, I'm partially scared. You seem very mysterious about the subject, Rich. Everything okay?" Stan's concern sounded through his voice over the phone.
"I am absolutely okay, Staniel!"Richie snorted, rolling his eyes. "Stop being so worried, dude! I've just got to tell you about this dude I met!"
***
Richie's eyes opened to the sound of Stan knocking on his window, mouthing for him to roll it down.
"Hey, buddy," Stan flashed a smile towards the boy, but allowed it to fade as his eyes processed the view in front of him: Richie's tear soaked face, his bloodshot eyes, and shaking palms. What happened? "Richie?" Stan shuffled to the passenger side, swinging the door open with such force he nearly thought he was going to rip it off. Richie tried to respond, but only released a whimper, causing Stan to engulf him in a hug. He knew that when Richie felt like this, all he needed was a shoulder to cry on. As he received comforting pats on the back from his best friend, he felt the tears begin to cascade down his blotchy face yet again. "It's okay, buddy. Let it out - I'm right here."
After around ten minutes, Richie was finally able to control his sobbing and forced himself to speak. "Stan," he sniffled. "I feel so annoying. I feel like I can't even talk to anyone anymore, because every time I do, I can tell how much they don't want to talk to me, let alone look at me. Why do I have to be such a burden? I just wish that I could accept that this is how I am." Stan felt a pang against his heart as he heard Richie talk bad about himself.
"Rich, can I let you in on a little secret?" Stan swept an incoming tear off of Richie's cheek. "For me, self-acceptance was a difficult thing - being gay wasn't something that was easy to come to terms with. I spent so long convincing myself that I was straight, but then I met Mike. He showed me who I was. And you know what I think, Rich? I think that what you're doing is convincing yourself that you're annoying because you're afraid of something else. I think that you're afraid of being rejected, Richie. And if that's what you're afraid of, you're telling yourself that you're annoying so that you won't get your hopes up and you can reject yourself before anyone else can. Does that make sense? Rich, I'm telling you this not as a way to expose you, but as a way to help you. You're my best friend, buddy. I want you to know every honest thought I have. I want you to feel better." Richie's jaw hung open as Stan stood on his soap box, taking in everything that was just said. Was Stan right? Was Richie just avoiding getting his hopes up?
"Stan," Richie cried out, lunging forward to Stan's seat in order to tackle him in a hug. "I love you, dude. You're my best friend. Thank you for your unconditional honesty. You always know just what to say." He couldn't have been more thankful that he had a best friend who gave him complete honesty and never ending support.
"I love you, too, buddy," Stan laughed, squeezing Richie, taking in the moment. It saddened him every time Richie had a breakdown like that, but he was always glad to be there for him in those moments. "So, what about this boy that you were telling me about?"
"Oh," Richie's eyes gleamed at the mention of the new boy in his life. "His name is Eddie, and he would be the perfect addition to the Losers' Club. He works at the coffee shop!" Richie and Stan started to discuss Eddie, the whole reason that the two boys decided to meet just outside the woods that homed their clubhouse. Stan took note of the way Richie's voice and eyes changed as he talked about Eddie.
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A/N: okay this chapter is traaaaaaash, but that's okay. this is mainly a filler chapter I guess, I just actually had a lot of troubling writing it. but hopefully the next chapter will be easier and better. Happy new year!
