grand | jjk+jhs

twelve

june 12th 2019

hoseok noticed how tiny yoongi looked next to him for the millionth time in his life. he's always been the smaller of the two since they were babies, even though yoongi was almost a whole year older. the two were seated in their couch watching a movie neither of them was really into, it was getting pretty graphic (which would worry hoseok a bit) but yoongi's presence was enough to keep him at ease.

to be honest, his smaller figure kept hoseok in heaven. it made him feel comfortable when he was feeling threatened or scared. the pout on his face, and his pretty eyes was enough to make anyone feel safe no matter the situation. when he's not ranting about easterners, he's respectful, sweet, and comical.

out of all of hoseok's friends, he had known yoongi the most and for the longest. they were always known as the two halves of a whole— having been on each other's side for nearly all their lives. but tonight had a different vibe.

"your sister... she just keeps getting prettier and prettier as the years go by, doesn't she?" yoongi laughs. ultimately earning him a hard shove from hoseok.

"gi, you fucking weirdo. she's literally getting married, give it up! get a girlfriend. your dick is big enough. it's what they the most in a guy."

"i would get a girlfriend hobi.. it's not too hard when you look as good as me." yoongi says with smirk on his face. hoseok rolls his eyes in second handed embarrassment. he couldn't help but love the guy even though he's super corny. "but.. i've had my eyes on someone else. not a girl. i've had my eyes on him for a while to be quite honest with you."

"oh? why didn't you tell me? we tell each other everything. it's in the sope code, dickhead. spill."

hoseok swore he could see yoongi roll his eyes a little. but he pushed that thought in the back in his head, blaming it on how dark it was in the sitting room of their shared apartment.

he began with a sigh. "well, i starting liking him when i was around 15. when i felt like i couldn't live without him. i got clingy, and i guess i freaked him out a little around that time. one day, when i thought he felt the same way, i... i attempted to kiss him." he spoke slowly to let hoseok register the words clearly.

hoseok did register everything clearly. too clearly. he felt a pang deja vu as yoongi continued. a grip on his denim shorts got harder and harder.

"and he turned me down. he said it was because he wasn't ready for a move like that and he wanted some time. i respected that and gave him time, a lot and a lot of time. around ten years to be exact."

hoseok felt nauseous.

but never interrupted and kept his focus on yoongi who was playing with his fingers.

"i grew closer and closer to him, learned more and more about him. seeing through him was the easiest thing to do. lately, my heart grew bigger and bigger for him. i love him. what do you think i should do?" yoongi finished. he turned to hoseok who looked like he had zoned out, starting at nothing. but hoseok was absolutely focused.

hoseok tried to keep his face straight or at least hide the panic he was feeling. he really isn't the best liar.

"yoon... i think that you should remember that he loves you too. a lot. does he love you in the same way? probably not. i think he's always seen you as someone to look up to. like a brother or something. someone he'd wanna be friends with for life, someone he would want to be like. i think he appreciates you a lot. i mean— who wouldn't? he is very grateful that you are so respectful and understanding and only wants to give you back that energy." he said a steady as possible. a few stutters was enough to throw him off though.

yoongi's breath hitched, but he listened closely knowing exactly what hoseok meant.

"maybe he is seeing someone already. consider that possibility." hoseok could hear his voice quiver embarrassingly. he's never mentioned his relationship to anyone else. he never thought we would have to.

"oh, really? i wonder why he hasn't told me yet." yoongi raises his voice a bit. just enough to still sound calm and understanding. yet incredibly imitating.

"i bet he wonders too," hoseok says. "but he hasn't really mentioned it to anyone, perhaps."

yoongi's eyebrow raised, obviously referring back to the sope code mention from earlier. "i also wonder who he is seeing. i hope he is treating my crush well, i only want to see my crush happy. he is my best friend after all..."

the air grew colder. the movie's volume decreased. the thumping in his chest became louder and louder to hoseok's ears. he was getting uncomfortable and his shirt was dampening with sweat. this time yoongi's presence wasn't keeping him at ease at all. rather made him feel small and scared for whatever was going to happen next. this foreign feeling made hoseok feel smaller than he did before. yet he spoke again.

"he... he's in a long distance relationship. with another guy from the states. he's nice to ur crush. he'd rather like to keep his relationship private though, you- you're the first person who knows about it." hoseok's voice breaks in nervousness. the lying was never something he liked to do, but when is a better time to try than now? he gulped the guilt down. tension rose, air got harder to breathe.

"i hope he knows that after more than 20 years of friendship that it's easy for me to tell when he lies."

hoseok froze.