Ophiuchus

After

The cake was out of the oven and the dishes piled up in the sink. Regina and Camille were gathered at the table sharing a slice of cake and airing their grievances. Camille had never realized how badly her mother had been struggling for so long. There was a pang of guilt in her heart for having written her mother off as an unstable drunk. As she listened to her struggles, she came to the realization that her mother understood her better than perhaps Camille understood herself. All the years they'd spent being emotionally abused- all the turmoil and trauma that had being holding them down and diminishing every bit of self worth they'd had left- they'd finally found the courage to speak up and share their own stories. There was a feeling of decompression in Camille's chest. For the first time in her life, Camille felt safe in her own house. She felt close to her mother for once, after being detached from her for all these years. 

"Camille- I don't expect you to suddenly become my best friend overnight." Regina says. "I know this is going to take some time, but I want you to know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to fix us."

Camille nods. "Thank you."

Regina eyes her. She smiles softly at her and takes her hand. She takes a deep breath. "Love, there's something I need to talk to you about." There's a serious look in her eyes. 

"A few nights ago- I was feeling badly about myself for being such a horrible mother. I'd gone into your room, curious to get a better understanding of you." She sighs. "I know it was wrong of me to go through your things- but I found a pregnancy test. I need to know what's going on." She says softly.

Camille gets up abruptly and turns away. Regina mentally slaps herself. She worried that she pushed her boundaries and lost her daughter again. 

"Camille?" 

She turns around and looks at Regina with tears streaming her cheeks. She collapses into her chair in a fit of sobs. Regina gets up and kneels down by her daughter. she pulls her close to her and strokes her hair, gently calming her. 

After a few minutes, Camille subsides and she looks at her mother through blurry tears. She wipes at her nose with her sleeve and takes a deep breath. Then, she begins to tell her story. 

                                                                                            ***

Early the next morning, Camille and Regina drive down to Heidelberg. Regina takes her to a women's clinic run by one of her childhood best friends. She knows Camille is nervous, so she sits with her in the car outside the clinic for a few minutes and lets her relax a bit.

Finally they get out of the car and go in. Almost naturally, Camille takes Regina's hand while crossing the street as they go into the building. They're greeted by a cheery receptionist, that takes down Camille's information before directing them into a waiting room behind her. They sit down in a couple of brightly colored fabric chairs. There's another woman in the room with them. She's flipping through a fashion magazine, while an American reality show about interior design plays in the background. 

Regina scoffs "I don't know why anyone would think to hang curtains like that in their home. I mean look at that color- it's repulsive." 

Camille ignores her mother's comment and fiddles with the zipper on her parka. It's the only thing distracting her from her nausea. 

Just then a door opens and a pregnant woman comes out from the exam room. She walks over to the woman with the magazine and kisses her on the lips. The other woman smiles and rests a hand on her partner's belly and guides her out. From around the corner, the doctor appears. She embraces Regina and two women talk for a bit before they all go into the exam room. 

"Take a seat up there- Camille." Dr. Dressler says patting the examination table. She sits down, the paper cover crunching underneath her. 

"What are you coming in for today?" She asks taking a seat across from her. Her pristine white coat is glaringly bright. She gives herself a minute to swallow back the lump in her throat. 

"I think I might be pregnant." 

Dr. Dressler nods. "Have you noticed any symptoms? Fatigue, Nausea, irregular periods?" 

She nods. "I've been getting sick in the mornings, and I missed my period last month."

"Any pain or discomfort?" 

"A bit in my lower back." She says softly.

Dr. Dressler notes her symptoms. "Have you taken any over the counter pregnancy tests?" 

"Just one. It was positive." 

Dr. Dressler continues typing on her computer. "I'm going to administer a blood test just to be sure. Sometimes over the counter tests can be faulty." 

She sets aside her computer and folds her hands. She looks up at Camille. 

"Did you recently engage in unprotected sex?" 

Camille doesn't answer. She looks at her mother who stands beside her and takes her hand. She closes her eyes, trying to blink away her emerging tears. 

Dr. Dressler looks up at her with sympathy. She's been in the practice long enough to know what that silence means. 

"Camille- this is a safe space. I can guarantee you 100% that anything you say will stay in this room between you, me and your mother."

She nods as a teardrop rolls down her nose. For a second time Camille opens up. Dr. Dressler listens carefully- without interrupting her. 

When she's done, Dr. Dressler steps out to get the nurse for a blood test. She tries not to look as the nurse pricks her arm with a needle, but she can't help but watch as she draws the crimson red blood through the test tube. When she's done, she puts a bandaid with smiley faces over the incision. 

Dr. Dressler returns and informs her that she needs to administer a rape kit. She has Camille and Regina sign a couple of consent forms before having her change into a blue hospital gown and laying back down on the cold exam table. For the next couple of hours, Camille endures being picked and prodded at. From beneath her fingernails to the hairs on her head, she is examined by the doctor and the nurse. 

Through it all, Regina sits close next her. She holds her hand and strokes her cheek. Every now and then- she leans over and whispers something to her and Camille feels some of her fears begin to dissolve. 

Afterwards, Dr. Dressler and Camille talk about her options. They talk through abortions, adoptions and going through with the pregnancy. She assures her that her procedure will be completely and entirely confidential. 

"Give it some time." Dr. Dressler says. "It's ultimately your choice on what you would like to do."

She sends her home with her card and bids them both farewell. On the drive home, Regina stops by at the harbor, where they get a bag of saltwater taffy and sit down at the edge of the dock, overlooking the sea. She smiles at her mother and leans her head on her shoulder. Regina pulls her close as a gust of wind brushes past them. 

"Everything will be okay." She says, and kisses her forehead. Camille smiles and closes her eyes. For once, it feels like everything will.