Word of god (CONTAINS SPOILERS)

Blast from the past

I was writing in 1st point of view in my earliest books, that was the only way i knew how to express what happens in the story at the time

I was a #CRINGEY!!!! teenage kid at the time writing my first book

Oh my god so much swearing skkskssk, its what you'd expect to hear after teaching a 12 year old the f-bomb

Like every sentence has one or two of them, now i try to avoid the f bomb as much as i can

I also made terrible references to pop culture (eg. "this burger is bigger than Nicki Minaj's ass!") i cringe every time i recall it, I don't find that shit funny or amusing anymore, its just.... EW god please kill me skskskks

And the dialogs were literally script dialogs except worse

For example:

(Y/n): I am going to kill you.
The yandere: no?????
(Y/n): die!!!
the yandere: I love you!!!
(Y/n): *ignores*

And there was a spam of question marks/exclaimation fhfjfjfkkjdkgjflf

GOD please erase that from my mind

Dont get me started on the frigging plotline and personalities of my characters

They were all mary sues, and all deranged as shit! Omg CRINGE
The OGs will know what the hell am I talking about, all of my characters are so overpowered, so messed up in every aspect and makes no sense

Even the most delusional people irl wont even think like my characters,, damn!

for some reason all of the readers are experienced cops/detectives at like, what, 18?!

And all the yanderes either fall in love because of some 'history' together— like the reader fighting off bullies in school or love at first sight, how cliche

Oh my god even if it is fiction, i should have at least put some realism factor innit

I wouldn't say my stories currently are great, the latest chaper "Fanfictions" in Blind Date is on thin ice— woke up this morning to think it's pretty cringey and was contemplating to delete the whole book or the chapter itself at least

Anyways, back to the past. The concept of social norms were a pretty foreign concept to me

I kid you not, i wrote a scene where the whole police PRECINCT cheered when they saw reader with a hickey and treated it like reader won a medal or something. They must have been coming from outerspace, humans don't do that! Especially in professional environments, im sure people irl still have some moral values and respect for other's private life

I mean at most if someone close to you sees that you have a hickey the most they would do is look away an try not to stare at it, to not cause you or them further humiliation

Then i wrote that the police were so incompetent that they couldn't solve anything

Cmon, the yandere tried to kill this person, n this person lived another day to give their testimony and who killed them and a SHIT ton of evidence is there but the police said: "hurr durr i wunder whos that?? I'm sahrry fur yur almust killed, now go awayuh"

Then its like majority of the people in there are... women, lusting for the yandere essentially going yandere for the yandere holy shit thats the entire plot of my first few books

I read back and my writing is so IMMATURE that i wanted to die in agony, its damn embarrassing that i BOLDLY posted that for idk like hundreds of thousands of eyes to see

Although my writing was cringey and crap, i had lots of views and votes

The yellow cover one has like almost 60k views if i remember correctly and 1k++ votes

I thought people genuinely liked my writing, but then as i grew older and more mature i realized that they are probably laughing at my writing

fhggkfjfkgjkg didnt see it before, most of the comments weren't really laughing at the 'jokes', but they were laughing at my shitty writing

Its like when a young kid shows you their drawing and its SHITE but you dont wanna hurt their little heart so you just "oh wow, thats... good. Um, what cute feathers!"

No one really gave me constructive feedback on the first few books because i think they think im a lost case, can't be revived

Can't blame them heh

Only when my writiing starts to hit bare minimum, them helpful constructive criticism flowed in, just like in my now deleted "Golden" has many helpful readers pointing grammar/spelling mistakes especially @J_C_colt— thank u :))

I thank yall for that :))

Then after it starts to get better, more readers are starting to let me in on their take to my story logic, character complexity, plotholes etc etc it really helps

I gotta say many thanks to everyone and especially to @StoneOceanisGood and @Dreamycassette to pointing out what's wrong and giving me detailed paragraphs of your opinion/suggestions on my characters

It helped me really much but hav i improved? Idk its up to the long time readers to judge

But to everyone who gave me feedback n crits, i love yall n pls dont stop it coming :))) thannk for reading