Why Me?

Part 19

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Ashton's POV

It's been two days since the accident...

It's been two days since Luke has been in a coma...

Everyday we all visit, with the hopes that he will wake up.  Carly has been a wreck.  She doesn't eat, sleep, or shower.  She's been staying at Luke's apartment for the time he has been in the hospital.  I showed up to Luke's apartment one day with a bag full of clothes, and I have also been staying with Carly in the apartment.  I know she doesn't take care of herself, so I feel like I have to look after her.  

Calum, Michael, Niall, Harry, and Louis also come to the hospital fo about two hours each day.  There hasn't been much talk about college, but we all know that there is a limited amount of time that we have until we all need to go our seperate ways.  And it's scaring the shit out of us all.  Of course we will all keep in contact, but it's not the same.

As for me, I have been mentally incapable of thinking straight and I'm still in shock that this had to happen to Luke.  He was innocent..He was perfectly innocent, and I..I..I'm the one that chased him, and I'm the one that made him run into the street...

I'm the one that made Luke get...

"FUCK!" I screamed and banged my fist into the wall.  "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED GOD? IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED FOR A POOR INNOCENT BOY?"

I threw the closest mug against a wall, and it shattered into pieces.

Right then, Carly came bursting through the door.

"ASHTON, STOP!" She yelled trying to calm me down, but I didn't listen.

"NO, I HATE THE WORLD FOR WHAT IT DID!  I HATE WHAT IS HAPPENING, I HATE MYSELF FOR MAKING LUKE RUN IN FRONT OF THE CAR!"

Carly started Crying.  I didn't mean to make her cry.  I didn't ever want to see her cry.

I sat in the middle of the floor and curled up with my knees to my chest.  Carly shuffled over to where I was, came behind me, and wrapped her arms around me.  I held onto her arm and cried.  

"When will the pain stop?" I whispered in a hoarse voice.

"It will stop when it wants to..." She whispered back softer.

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That night we slept next to each other.  I held her as she cried herself to sleep.  I watched her as her body shook with fear and sadness.  I listened to her heart that had been damaged by the pain that was eating away at her.  I studied her facial features that had once been happy and full of life.

I loved her.  I loved her in the way that when she was hurt, I was hurt.  I loved her like my own sister, and I would do anything for her.  I want her to be happy, and Luke was the one thing in her life that made her happy.

"I want you to be happy..." I whispered to her as I moved a piece of hair from her face. 

I kissed her head and leaned back, my head resting on the couch.

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Carly's POV

I went to visit Luke again in the hospital the next morning.

I stopped by a local florist and picked up roses to put by Luke.  I've been doing this every morning since he's been here.

He didn't look any better, but he looked peaceful.  I put the flowers in the vase that I had put next to his bed a few days ago.  The bouquet was getting larger every day.  I knew he could hear me, or that's what I thought.  I walked over tohim, and took his hand in mine.