Love is a Battlefield

Forgiveness

Things the next day at school were tense after the events at the restaurant. Samuel and Harry were still fighting but it seemed like they were less fighting over Ben and more so just squabbling like children over every little thing. Ben could see that this would probably be how things were until they graduated. Harry was like water, but Samuel was like oil. The two never really mix seamlessly. Harry used to be like oil to Ben but now he seemed to mellow out in a way. Thinking back it was most likely the break up that allowed Harry to realize how things had been. Maybe if this had been how Harry was all along, they wouldn't have broken up. There was no point in dwelling on these facts as Ben was happy to be with Carlos. The two were like strawberries and chocolate, a classic combination that is perfect together. Like him and Carlos, they both are simple but together they just make something that much more magical. It wasn't much of a surprise that everyone seemed to approve of their coupling, aside from exes and jealous friends.

It was later on in the next week just before lunch that Carlos received a text message from Jay. "Can we talk at lunch? Privately?" Jay's text message read. Carlos took some time to reply, he was debating about whether this was really a good idea but honestly, he felt after talking to Belle, maybe now was the perfect time to talk to Jay. They needed to hash this out in all honesty because it still weighed on Carlos like a blanket that didn't belong to him. It wasn't too much of a burden, but it was always there and it wasn't his. So he texted back agreeing to meet him reluctantly knowing there were better things he could be doing, like actually enjoying lunch, but he had to do this. It felt like the right time, especially with Jay getting help.

When lunch rolled around Carlos grabbed a small lunch and waited for Jay. It took a little bit and he managed to get halfway through his smaller lunch before Jay came in. He didn't bother getting lunch he just strolled over to Carlos who got up. Ben gently grabbed his hand but Carlos gave him a comforting nod and Ben let go. Ben wasn't the controlling type, maybe the possessive type but not controlling. He let him go and the two strolled out to the tree that they had talked at before that was between the entrance and the parking lot. Jay took a shaky breath first looking like he had a lot he wanted to say but wasn't sure where to start. "How are you and Ben doing?" He started with and Carlos couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle.

"We're doing good. He is everything I wanted for so long, being best friends' kind of helped. How are you doing?" Carlos raised an eyebrow curiously looking up at the long-haired ex. His face was a mix of emotions that he couldn't quite make out.

"I'm okay. I have a lot to work out before I think I'll be walking back into the dating game personally." He let out a heavy weighted sigh as he seemed to drop all pretense of taking this conversation casually. "I know I really hurt you. I just figured you deserved to know the whole truth of what was going on. I told you I have abandonment issues which is true. Ever since mom left, I've been feeling really clingy to people. You know how nothing is ever good enough for dad." In fact, Carlos did know because his father believed that Carlos wasn't good enough for him either. His father always pushed Jay to be more than he could possibly be, and it was exhausting. It took a long time for his father to accept the two were even dating so it isn't much of a surprise that Jay would feel the pressure. "You know how my dad gets. I was scared to lose you because I couldn't handle any more pressure from him. That paired with not wanting to be alone. I also started getting into doing some party drugs. Just for fun. It started the night of the party here and escalated. I was so twacked out on uppers that I wasn't in the right headspace either. It all came together in a nasty mess when I found out you had picked Ben. I just couldn't cope. I just wanted you back and something inside me snapped. I lost my mind. It isn't an excuse. I'm not trying to get you to forgive me, I want you to know the whole story. You deserve to know it all because regardless I will always love you. Maybe not as your boyfriend anymore but platonically, like a brother. A brother you probably never wanted but a brother none the less." Jay is sincere and honest the whole time never once giving hint at making anything up. Carlos laughs at the last sentence out of his mouth and smiles a bit. There he is. The Jay that went missing this whole time. The one he fell in love with and was good friends with too. It warmed his heart to know that he was doing better.

"Look, I forgive you, Jay. I may not trust you for a while, but I do forgive you. I wouldn't have forgiven you for any other reason, but I can see you have done everything to fix yourself and that matters. I love you, Jay, like the brother I never asked for." He can't help but bubble with laughter at this but continues anyway. "I just want you to be healthy and happy. You can come sit with us at lunch again because someone needs to deal with Samuel. If he keeps flirting with Ben, I might kill him." Carlos can't help but laugh again and now Jay is laughing too.

"I think me going psycho is enough for a lifetime. I'll distract lover boy for you. You and Ben really are good together. I'm happy for you." Jay leans in and kisses his forehead and Carlos hugs him a bit before they head into the lunchroom. Carlos takes his place next to Ben and Jay sits next to Samuel distracting him from Ben. Finally, things were starting to look good for the group of friends as Audrey and Evie announced they were getting promise rings. Harry was sitting with Gil, Uma, and Lonnie. Gil perched on Harry's lap while Lonnie snuggled into Uma's shoulder. Everyone in the lunchroom seemed finally content in their own way.