Right now, I wish I was a little girl again that could climb to my mom's lap and cry until the pain goes away
Until now, I really cant understand why did they do that to me
Am I that bad ? Am I ? For them to just fool me. I want to see them and ask them those questions but I cant. Cause I know once I see them Im willing to forgive them. I dont want to think about that
The Diary
The Picture
That was the Reality that I cant change. It really was. All I have to do is to face it. That was Real. The Diary,The Pictures. Thats my handwritten
I browse about my past accounts and my username their was Cheska Smith and their. I saw it all !
Its really Japeth huh ? Really Japeth. So it was me and Japeth not Me and Chris
If he truly love me, why did he keep this from me? Why ??
I did not remember anything except from that Dream and I saw my clear dream. Japeth was singing for me while holding my Hands
I dont want to think about first cause my memories arent with me but those things show me the Reality. and that is They are all liers !
No one tell me the Truth. The words coming from them is all Lies
From: Heart
Practice later, I'll fetch you
-end-
Wait, Whos this ?
Heart ? So its Japeth? How can he take that endearment when he last hear that from Japeth ? He really did not care for me. He just hurt me
Anyway why am I speaking in English ? Ganto ba talaga pag sobrang sakit na. Di mo na alam ang mga sinasabi mo?
Ang sakit na kasi talaga eh, Ang sakit-sakit. Ayokong makita sila kasi nasasaktan ako. Nabibwisit ako
Inayos ko na yung sarili ko, I need to Pretend too. If they are all good liers and Pretenders well, Im better than them.
I have to know more things about me. I have to. Pinahinga ko na muna yung mata ko kahit minu-minuto di ko mapigilang maiyak. Buti nalang wala si Mom and Big Bro dito
Then maya-maya pa..
**
"Heart I miss you" he said after I got into his car
I dont want to look at him. I cant. Youre not my Heart. A Lier
"i-i m-miss you too" my words are struggled. I cant speak clearly and straight .
He hold my hands
I want to get back my hands but I dont want to. I like the way he hold it
"Are you alright?" he ask seriously
I look at him as I can
Please. Tears cooperate dont fall please ?
"Im fine, As long as Im with you" I fake a smile and looked away
Xena. You said youre a Good Pretender. But why ? I just close my eyes and try to sleep but Somethings popping in my mind
'Pano kaya kung, I dont have Amnesia?
Masaya na kaya ako ngayon with Japeth? Nasasaktan kaya ako ? Andami kong tanong na kahit sino walang makakasagot. Mas mahirap pa syang sagutin sa Math Equation
