Cassandra

Learning More & More Each & Every Day 7⃣

In hopes someone can read my thoughts out there im planning to be alive in my own head.
So that they can know what im thinking, i really do hope i can escape my body.
Truly and honestly i rather just cut the cord myself, but i cant.
Because i cannot move my body,
I cant do anything im trapped.
It sucks to be trapped. Sucks ass.
I don't wanna be trapped anymore.
I feel like a prisoner.
I cant feel, i cant breath on my own, they have to tube feed me.
Nasty shit. Tube feeding is the worst.
My situation sucks.
Everything sucks.

I dont want to live if this is the only life i am living. The only life i will be able to live, than im gone.

My sister looks at me and says
She sees my Cassandra Glow in me.
She told the doctors this

" you will keep doing what your doing, hopefully one day someday Cass will wake up. Till than we wait.
I know shes still in there, that Cassandra Glow is in there."

Today my sister brought my ipod and played

Spotless Mind by Jhene Aiko for me

I thank her so much for that.

I really needed that.
She played the whole album.
I thank her so very much for that.
I love Jhene Aiko shes my favorite artist, shes truly amazing.
Her voice is like a Buddha baby!

But i feel like when i leave this coma, i will not be Cass. And being in this coma tought me things.

You, are you. The body your in is not you. It is the body that was given to your soul. Your soul is you.
Your body is not. Will never be, you.
Because you are a soul instead of a robot. Our minds, our hearts. Thats us.
Everything else, is not yours.
So when you die, they burry your robot. They can't burry your soul.
Your soul stays wondering.
All souls are wonderers, they wander all over. Being in love with someone for their robot is wrong, cause the robot is not them. Their soul is them.
Loving their soul, and them loving yours, that is REAL, PURE love.
Its true, bliss. Its Humble.
Its good. We all are searching for that kind of love. Few find the everlasting kind. Many loose the love, from decisions they made, all want the love.
See LIFE is a game, you win the game by being successful in that life.
But love, thats a whole other prize.
Love is also a game, you just have to find the person that is perfectly compatible to be on your team.
When you do, both of u will be fighting for the love, and if u want it that badly... You will win.

I know it sounds like hippie shit, but the world is so surreal, it really is.
Who would have thought of something has living on a planet, that planet is on a galaxy, there are thousands of galaxies. All over.
There are billions of people all over.
We are all over.
And we have 1 true person who is meant to be with us.
That person is our 1 in a billion.

Thinking about how much I've learned from this experience makes me think of all of the good things.

Although im going crazy, lately.
I enjoy it because of what comes out of it.
I enjoy the crazy, the young wild and free.
Although i am trapped, i am free in my thoughts to create magical things.
Like my music, making music keeps me whole on a certain level.
Makes me, me.
If i cannot express myself what can i do?