My name is Wendy Darling
Now, so we can start off on a nice, smooth road I suggest you follow that one rule till the end of this book
The rule is: make fun of my name or say any Peter Pan related jokes about it then I give you my word sir that I will personally haunt you down and hit you where it hurts. Please take note that English Ladies do not break their words
I have been forced to live with Peter Pan jokes for the fourteen years of my life and I still hate them all
My amazing mother named me Wendy because my brother was watching Peter Pan when my parents told them he was getting a baby sister, so I mostly blame it on him even though it wasn’t his fault
My brother had been obsessed with Peter Pan ever since a boy from school told him about it,
Making it the boy, my brother, my mother and my father’s fault
The boy for telling Brandon, my brother, about it
Brandon for forcing my parents to watch it every spare night they had
My mother for naming me that
And last but not least, my father for not objecting
And now I hate the guts of anyone who dares to make a Peter Pan related joke about me
As you can imagine, the first Peter Pan joke had been created by my brother. When? The day I was born
We were in the hospital, I was a little pink creature and my father was holding me for the first time
As he held me close to his chest, my seven year old brother said, so innocently may I add, to my father “Dad, what will you do if Peter Pan comes to take her away?”
Ladies and gentlemen! Behold! The first time I hear a Peter Pan joke.
Moreover, the first time I ever hear the mention of his name
Of course, there was a debate held about whether that was counted as a joke or not since Brandon asked out of concern for his new baby sister, fearing she’d be kidnapped in a couple of years but my father misunderstood his concern. At the end it was decided that this would be counted as a joke
And from that moment onward, I got turned into a fairy tale character
I got turned into ‘The other Wendy’
And to this day, my friends call me Wendy bird, Wendy Lady, Red-handed Jill, the story teller and all sorts of those nicknames
They think it’s funny
I, on the other hand, think it’s another thing to add on the ‘why should I murder you in a slow tragic death’ list
You might think I am over reacting, but if you are named Wendy Darling, Snow White, Cinderella or any of those names you’ll understand what I am talking about
But since I believe our journey will be a long one and I don’t want to start it on the wrong foot, I shall try my best to explain it
Let’s say you are named Snow white
Your grandmother used to make the best apple pie ever, so naturally, you grew up to love apples
And then whenever you want to eat this amazing, perfect blood red, juicy, healthy apple, you hear someone shouting “No! it’s poisoned! Haven’t you learned a thing from your previous encounter? Who knows! Maybe the Evil queen is still alive lurking around! She could be anyone! Even your own history teacher!” and then that person points at your fat, bald and boring teacher and he over-hears you two. In the end the both of you end up in detention
