They're Just Kids

Group Therapy 2

Everyone was gathered around in another circle in the same room as before, everyone except Lucas who had been missing since his morning appointment. No one had seen or even heard from him for five hours.

"I don't think it's right to have group without Lucas." Hanna snapped.

Jason sighed. "I'm sorry, Hanna, but group therapy is on a schedule that I don't make or control." He gave her a small smile. "But if you want to talk about Lucas I'm sure no one in the room would mind. I doubt they really want to talk about themselves, right Spencer?" He gave her a cheeky grin.

Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes turning away from him. Her eyes met Toby's and he gave her a small smile making her smile.

Hanna was nervously playing with her fingers, picking the leftover nail polish off one by one. "Well, um, Lucas is a good friend of mine." She blushed a little. "But last night I guess we became more than friends and now I guess I'm just scared he'll be different on that experimental drug."

"Does anyone have any encouraging or comforting words?" Jason asked.

"I'm sure he won't be that different." Emily stated nicely. "I mean they said Mona just had a bad reaction. It won't be that way for all of us. Lucas will probably be just fine."

Hanna sighed. "I guess, but I don't know. What if he's-" The door opened cutting Hanna off and she turned to see him.

"Lucas, glad you could join us." Jason gave him a small smile. "How were your tests?" He asked curiously. "Everything okay?"

Lucas glanced around the room slowly, then he scoffed. "Better than okay. I'm free."

Jason blinked. "Free? From what?"

Lucas shrugged. "Pointless shit. Like- Like feelings and stress and I'm just free."

Jason frowned. "You don't feel anything?"

Lucas blinked. "Nope. I'm like all floaty."

Jason and Spencer both stared at him.

"So you're high? That's not a good way to live your life, Lucas. You need to feel." Jason tried to make the young boy understand.

Lucas shrugged. "Why? Why would I want to feel like crap all the time if I have a choice. Why feel stressed or sad or lonely? Why feel unwanted and worthless? When I can feel nothing. It's better. It's free."

Jason's frown deepened. "Well if you don't feel anything how can you feel the good things? Like love or friendship, hope?"

Spencer scoffed. "Hope breeds eternal misery." She stated in monotone.

Everyone looked from Lucas to Spencer, then back to Lucas. He was different.

"I don't have any of that so why do I care?" He stated taking his seat next to Emily, across from Hanna, but he didn't look at her. He didn't seem to be focused on anyone or anything in particular. Just in a daze.

Hanna took a deep breath. "What about me? We're friends. We're more than friends."

Lucas didn't look at her. "I don't need pity. I've accepted that no one will ever love me."

Hanna's eyes watered. "I love you."

Lucas finally looked at her, his expression dark. "No, you feel sorry for me."

Hanna balled her hand into a fist. She stared into his eyes, but she didn't see anything, they were glassy. Just like Mona.

"I didn't lose my virginity to you because I felt sorry for you! I slept with you because I love you!" Hanna shouted at him.

Lucas leaned forward in his seat. "No, you don't even know what love is, you can't love anyone until you love yourself and you don't love yourself. If you did you wouldn't have given it up so easily. All you care about is image, and I wouldn't be good for that."

"I'm not like that and you know it!"

"You are like that!" He scoffed. "You wouldn't be bulimic if you didn't care so much about your image. If you didn't care what other people thought. If you just accept who you are and not feel anything. It's better, Hanna. It's free." He smiled, but his smile seemed different, it was fake.

"Now you sound like Mona. I'm not taking that stupid drug! Snap out of it, Lucas!"

Spencer raised her hand. "All in favor of kicking out the creepy pod person."

Everyone else raised their hands, except for Hanna. Her hands were still balled into fists at her sides. She stood and grabbed Lucas up out of his chair, holding him by the collar of his shirt. "Damnit Lucas! You don't think like this! Where are you?! Who are you?! Get your head out of your ass!"

Jason was about to break it up, but he saw something. A blush crept onto Lucas' pale face and the glassiness in his eyes faded.

"Hanna-" He whispered as if he was seeing her for the first time in a long while. He blinked trying to focus on the girl yanking him closer to her. "H-Hanna-" He shook his head and started panted. "You-You're-"

"Oh for god's sake!" Hanna crashed her lips onto his, then pulled back after a minute.

He blinked a few times. "Hanna, I love you."

Hanna smiled. "There's my geek."

Lucas blushed. "Wait, did we? Last night?" He cleared his throat. "Or did I dream-"

Hanna chuckled. "No, we did." She bit her lip. "What happened to you this morning?"

Lucas gulped. "I don't know, but that drug.. it's not some pill you take. Whatever it is- It's pumped into you through an iv and they sit and talk to you while it takes over."

"What do you mean takes over?" Hanna asked fear creeping into her voice.

Lucas frowned. He looked away from her, around to everyone else in the room. "Your mind. Your thoughts. It takes over, until all you can think about is- is- is nothing."

Jason didn't like what he was hearing. It sounded like Wren was trying to wipe their minds, start over from scratch in a way.

Hanna wrapped her arms around Lucas. "Well don't let them erase me. I love you."

Lucas smiled brightly. "Ever since you told me I didn't deserve how Alison treated me I have loved you and I always dreamed one day you could love me too, but I never imagined that when you did someone would try to make me forget you. I'm sorry, Hanna. I had no control over it." His smile faded away. "It's like I'm not me anymore."

Hanna kissed him again. "You kiss like you." She shrugged. "So maybe you're not completely gone yet. Maybe there's still hope." Spencer scoffed so Hanna turned to her. "Maybe there's still hope for all of us."