Time Waits For No One

Chapter Ten: Come On, Give it A Try

Chapter Ten: Come on, Give it a Try

Jane shifts uncomfortably in his suit. He happily welcomed the change of clothes other than a blue jumpsuit that Cho had brought him, but because he isn't used to dressing like this anymore...he feels awkward. Though he is happy about the re-trial starting today and hopefully also ending soon, he just wishes he could get into more comfortable clothes as fast as possible.

Sighing, Jane reaches up and rubs his freshly shaved cheek. When Cho had come and brought him the clean suit, he also brought a razor and shaving cream. Scissors too. On account of having very limited hair cuts in the last few months, Jane's hair had become extremely long and his curls had run wild. With one look, Cho quickly moved to one of the offices and requested a pair of scissors and snipped away, much to Jane's protest. Smiling at the humourous memory, Jane leans back into his seat at the defense table.

Trying to pass the time, he starts to bounce his leg up and down in one place and whistles. His lawyer, Kaitlin Stark, sits beside him and casts an irate look in his direction. Jane pauses and cocks his head in her direction. The corners of his mouth begin to form a smile at the young lawyer and he turns back to face the front of the courtroom and continues to whistle.

"Please stop it."

He stops and looks at the woman, "Why so grumpy? Are you angry because you had to miss out on a lovely morning with your boyfriend?"

Stark shifts in her seat and refuses to turn to him. So he continues in a low voice, "Do you think I should stay in jail after I killed a man? A man that killed my wife and child eight years ago and meant to kill Agent Lisbon, and who haunted the state of California for years?"

She breathes in and out quietly and slowly turns to Jane. Stark blinks at him, "I'm 'grumpy' because you left Agent Lisbon all alone."

"To protect her."

"But you acted as a vigilante, and you shouldn't have done that," she turns back to face forward.

Jane studies the young lawyer for a moment. She isn't angry about his actions – she very well agrees that Red John should have been taken down, and that the method didn't really matter. It was deeper – more personal – as to why she was acting so grumpy with him.

He shakes his head, "It isn't about that. You wanted him gone too." Stark turns to him, "You are upset about Lisbon, and believe me, I am too. But you're also upset because this case has cost you something personal."

Stark leans back into the bench seat and takes a deep breath. She looks over at Jane, and by the look of her hazel eyes he can tell that that she definitely lost someone she loved. Maybe not to death, but the feeling of abandonment is still there and it still stings. Because of that, Jane feels guilty. He feels guilty for leaving Lisbon alone for all these months – even though his actions saved her life – and because it has obviously hurt a young woman who had been in love.

"My fiancé left me a couple of days ago. He was tired of me being at the CBI for so many days and didn't like me working this case. I came home to an empty apartment," she says quickly without looking at him, "I tried to call him an hour ago to tell him something, but he wouldn't answer his stupid phone. I mean he has it all the time!" she nervously starts chewing on her thumbnail.

Jane shifts away from her, "I don't blame you, Mr. Jane." Her voice is so soft and she looks over at him, "I don't blame you for killing Red John." Her eyes flicker in his direction and for the first time he sees something he should have noticed months ago. Her hazel eyes were the exact same as someone else's he gazed into. Jane remembers them every night in his sleep and always awakens when they begin to fog over.