Come by Night 2: Winter's Moon

Chapter Nine - The Land of Misfit Yōkai

*bakezōri - an old zōri sandal that has become imbued with its owner's energy and turned yōkai
*kejōrō - a yōkai prostitute whose face is covered by her long hair
*mononoke - an older term for yōkai

I feel devoid of all hope. His touch lingers in my memory, and I cannot help despairing it will be the last time I feel it. No. I mustn't think this way. My eyes tear up regardless. I try not to sob as the strange yōkai tightens my obi sash. Her hair covers her face, and it's more than a little disturbing. But she is always kind to me, her voice soft behind the curtain of black tresses.

"The kitsune-sama will return. He always does. He is very clever and full of many tricks. Do not be sad."

Those words are like a signal having the opposite effect. I sob and hold my face in my hands. Why am I feeling so broken? I have lived without Isamu for years. Of course, that was in my world. While it was certainly not fair, I understood the rules and everything made sense.

Isamu's... wherever this is... it's so strange and unfamiliar. I am a human woman in a place where mortals do not belong. If my demon fox does not return, I do not know what will happen to me and Tsukiko.

The kejōrō wraps her arms around me to comfort me, and strangely enough, it does.

"I know your pain. When I was human, I loved a man, too. He went away to war and did not return. I thought he died, but it turned out that he married another woman. Lord Isamu will never do that to you. He is a fox, and they are loyal to their mates. You are very fortunate to have gained his favor."

"How... how did you meet Isamu?" I ask.

I cannot see the woman smile, but I hear it in her voice. "Mine is a sad story, my lady, but I thank you for asking. My human love had promised we would be wed, and asked that I give myself to him to prove my loyalty. After he was gone, my family found out and sold me to a brothel.

"Still, I always hoped he would return and not see me as soiled. One day he came into the pleasure house, and he did not even recognize me. I ordered the woman entertaining him out of the room. When I confronted him, he laughed at me, so I murdered him."

She pulls a sheathed tanto blade from her sash and presses it into my hand. "Here. You should have one, too."

"But I do not know how to use it!" I protest. I have never held a weapon in my life.

"It's not very hard. If you can scale a fish, you can skin a man," she says. "And a weapon is more loyal. Yōkai respect strength and courage. Knowing you have something that can cut someone else will make you braver."

She tucks the blade in my sash so that it cannot be seen but I can reach it easily.

"I became a prostitute in the mononoke world after my crime transformed me. Isamu-sama used to frequent brothels in those days, when he was a kabukimono."

"What?" I had no idea he was such a thing. Kabukimono had horrible reputations, and tales of them are lurid. Yet... when I think of Isamu surrounded by fire, killing anyone who crossed his path, I believe it.

"Yes, Lord Isamu was very fierce, a warrior who laughed in the face of danger. All the women wanted to entertain him, he was so beautiful and witty. I never did, I was too shy. I hated who I was and what I had become. I wanted to die for true.

"I decided to kill myself by plunging that blade into my bowels and falling face forward into the street from the roof, when I heard a man say, 'What a terrible waste that would be. If you are so unhappy, change it. You might still end up unhappy, but at least it will be something different.'

"I looked over, and the white kyuubi was lounging on the roof tiles and smoking a pipe. I had no idea he was there.

"'Why are you up here?' I asked, and he said, 'I needed air. The scent of the perfume and incense below made my nose itch.' He offered to take me away then and there if I would help keep his castle, no extra 'services' required. I said yes, and I have been here ever since."

A bakezōri sandal with a single eye and mouth possessed of a lolling tongue, shambles over awkwardly on it's bowed, stick legs. "The master is most kind, my lady. This place is our sanctuary and our home."

Other tsukumogami nod their heads or speak their assent, a crowd of them having crept into the room. I gasp as a scroll with pale, pupil-less eyes floats in front of me and looks me over critically. I am a little frightened, but I stand my ground. I remind myself that I am mistress here. My maid is right. There is no place for weakness in the yōkai world. But kindness is another matter.

"Did Isamu take all of you in?" I ask, now very curious.

"Yes, my lady. And he never mistreats us at all." They all echo agreement. They love him as I do.

Listening to their stories, I see that I am not so very different from them. I do not quite fit in and never have. I have conformed very hard, broken myself to the yoke of tradition. Inside, I have been screaming my whole life. I wanted to be free, I yearned for it...

That is what Isamu has given me. Freedom from Natsumi and my brother, from familial obligations and societal restrictions that are tighter than my kimono. I accepted what I was taught because I did not know better, and my survival depended on it. Now everything has changed. The freedom to determine my destiny and shape the course of my life are mine now.

It is a beautiful gift, yet I am the caged bird that sits and sings when the door is opened, never daring to spread my wings and fly. I am beginning to understand that Isamu doesn't want a frightened songbird. He wants a strong wife who can take charge of his household in his absence. He needs a mate who is proud to stand by his side.

Can I be that for him? I remind myself that I stood on my own with Tsukiko when I had nothing but a slender thread of faith. Yes. I can be strong again. For Isamu and Tsukiko, and myself, too. I am tired of my exhaustion, of allowing others to take control of me. I have done this my whole life.

Now is my time to prove I am more than what anyone thinks of me. Except Isamu, that is, who saw the real me all along, the one who always wanted to step off that engawa and run free. The only one keeping me in chains is....

Me.

My mind reels at this thought as I listen. What Isamu's subjects say of him warms my heart. My instincts are right. Yōkai or not, he is a good man, after all.