Come by Night 2: Winter's Moon

Chapter Nineteen - I Have Learned To Save Myself

I run back as fast as I can, my heart in my throat. I lose my shoes somewhere along the way, but I don't care. I can hardly breathe, everything is a blur. I don't know what has happened to Isamu except for what the koi said. I have this overwhelming instinct that I need to protect Tsukiko more than anything.

I clutch my side as I run through the gates and up into the castle. "Tsukiko!" I cry out.

"Mommy? What's happening?"

I sigh in relief to see her, but my urgency is greater than ever. "Go to your friend the kappa, do you hear me? Hide in the reeds, be quiet, and wait. If I do not come in a while, tell the kappa to sneak you to the koi in the black lake. He'll know what to do.

"What's wrong?" my daughter protests.

"Nothing. It's like a game, Tsuki-chan. Be a good girl and do as I say."

"Don't worry. Father will be back soon," she says enigmatically.

"That's nice, Tsukiko," I reply, trying not to get short with her. "Until he comes home, go on now, all right?"

"All right." She unexpectedly runs to me and holds me. She's such a skinny, little thing. I stroke my fingers through her silver hair and hold her tight. 

"Go now," I whisper, and she does, off to the pond in the garden. I hold my stomach over my obi sash and stare after as she disappears off the stone path. Thank goodness.

"Well, well... little mouse," I hear a cruel voice behind me.

I jump, whirl, and there is the tengu. He walks boldly in like this is his castle. I have only to glance at his face to see the evil there. I know straight away what he wishes to do to me. His gaze rakes my body as though he were already defiling it. He thinks Isamu is dealt with, I can tell in how he saunters closer. He has all the time in this world.

"Such a pretty thing you are, but I wouldn't expect less. Mitsuaki always had impeccable tastes. That's his real name, you know. Bet he never told you that or anything about himself. But then, why would he?"

He points his golden staff at me in a deft motion. Fearing he will strike me, I flinch and freeze. He raises my chin up high with the cold metal. The rings clink loudly in my ears. I grimace and he grins at my discomfort.

"I can't help but wonder... why you? You are not truly exceptional in any way. Oh, you're sweet enough to eat, but for him to lose everything on account of his feelings for you? How did you do it? Are you a fox witch to bind my old friend so?"

"N-no," I stammer. I'm very afraid. I tell myself to keep it together. I am stalling for Tsukiko. I need to keep him focused on me. My heart races, thumping inside my chest. I have never been so terrified in all my life.

"I hear your frantic heart, little mouse," he gloats with a purr.  "I smell your fear."

'I am not defenseless,' I remind myself.

"Where is Isamu?" I ask. My voice is small in my ears.

"I told you, his name is Mitsuaki. Are you stupid? Never mind, of course you are." He sighs as if I am something that must be suffered. My only use to him lies between my legs. "The fool got stuck in Hell. I expect by now he's Enma's slave. An old shrine guardian like 'Isamu' has some worth for a fox."

I sob, unable to help it. 'Oh, Isamu, Mitsuaki, whatever your name is, I love you. Come back to me like you said you would. I have faith in you.'

But even if he does get away, it will be far too late for me. My heart sinks into despair. I think back to what the koi told me, that I must learn how to save myself. But how? This is a powerful yōkai! What can I do against a battle-hardened monster like this?

I tremble visibly. His grin is a dark slash beneath his long nose. The crow tengu closes the short distance between us, his huge wings encircling me. There is no escape. He leans down to kiss me and I smell the stench of his breath. The sulphuric vapors of the underworld cling to his hair and feathers.

"Do not hesitate." I hear the koi's voice resonate in my memory. Or is the fish speaking in my head? I can't tell, and it doesn't matter.

I slide one of the ornate sticks holding up my hair and try to stab him in the neck. He catches my wrist with his other hand and crushes it in his stronger grasp. The pain! My hand opens of its own accord and the stick falls to the floor. Even so, he does not loosen his grip.

He leers at me. "Well, maybe you're not such a mouse after all! This might prove to be more entertaining than I -"

His eyes widen. I watch his mouth open, blood dribbles down his chin. He never saw the tanto knife hidden in my obi sash. I drag it through his innards with all my strength, filled with wild terror. Strangely, I am reminded of my maid who gave the weapon to me. She's right. It is kind of like gutting a fish.

I think of Tsukiko and stick him again. I have to stab him until he goes down, but he doesn't go down. So I just keep doing it, praying he'll fall over soon. I'm still clutching the blade when he stumbles back, his hands grasping the rapidly spreading red across his torso.

He laughs, a choking sound. "I understand what he sees in you now."

I feel the crow's blood trickling down my arm, rapidly cooling. Why won't he die? I stare at him in horror of his retribution when there's a rush of wind. I smell a scent I know better than any other. I see a blur of white, a flash of silver. Blood sprays across my cheeks and the bridge of my nose.

The tengu's head separates from his shoulders and falls to the floor. The body follows with a meaty thump. A cloud of black feathers floats everywhere. It happened so fast before my very eyes, I can't process it. It's all so surreal, like a strange dream. I gaze up into the worried face of my fox.

"Did he hurt you?"

"Isamu?" I drop the blade from my numb and sticky fingers and collapse into his arms. His tails curl around protectively me. Now that it is all over, I can't stop trembling. I need Isamu to make me feel safe, except that isn't his name.

"Mitsuaki." After I say it, I am afraid he will be mad at me.

He looks at me in surprise. I see a moment of uncertainty flit across his features, then peace. "Yes."

I smile, tears running rivulets down my cheeks. He told me the truth. I touch his cheek with my hand. His skin seems to glow beneath mine. I stroke his ears, filled with gratitude to the universe that I can touch him like this again. He kept his promise.

"I love you, Mitsuaki. Thank you for coming home."

In answer, he smiles and kisses me.