She was giving pep talks to herself the whole morning in order to prepare herself for the inevitable. She was going to see him again as his ex wife. And she may have agreed to this because he said it first but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt her.
Ten days later and she's still not used to that word. Ex, as in former. As she doesn't have a saying in his life. As in she shouldn't care about what he's doing. But she does.
And then her brother gives her the idea of a new man in her life. And she agreed to meet him. To piss Kerem off. But he seemed so cool and chilled right next to this lawyer. Ayse knew from the beginning that she was a bad apple but did he listen to her? No, because she's the one who's always overreacting according to him.
And now she's going to have someone who she doesn't want in her house, asking her to marry him. Damn you Kerem and your stupid head.
Once at the company and after a long talk with Gonca she regained her not so real confidence back. She may be dying slowly inside and she may feel her ring finger bare and light but he can't and won't see that.
She's at the only office with no glass door to change her clothes for the photo shooting when the door opens and Kerem storms in. She's naked and she barely has the time to cover her body with the dress.
"Hey, I'm naked here!" She says and pulls the fabric closer to her.
"And you are scared that I'll see something that I didn't see during our marriage?"
The word stinks both of them but they don't show it.
"That's the least of my concerns. What do you want Kerem?" She asks calmly.
"Maybe a file... maybe some of that..." he says and his eyes trail her entire body as he's coming closer and closer to her.
She steps back but she still seems calm and composed. Compared to him anyway, who now seems like he's seeing through the fabric she's holding to cover her nudity.
"Don't be silly Kerem. Take the file and go. I'm going to be late if you keep this up." She says but she doesn't believe a word. She doesn't care about the photos, or being late if that means she's getting her love back.
"Look at you. Now that there's a new suitor around the corner to save you... You are right. We don't want you to be late." He turns around to leave. "Just make sure that the coffee is well made. And don't run again, you want find me waiting for you." He opens the door and leaves.
She takes a deep breath to stabilize herself. Her mind going crazy. Could he really stop caring for her after ten days? He didn't seem remotely jealous over the fact that she's expecting a stupid groom tonight. Did she really lose him?
Before she could think of anything else the door opens again and a furious Kerem walks in.
"What...?" His lips are on hers and she doesn't get to finish her question. A kiss demanding, powerful. A kiss that made her knees feel like jelly. He pulls her against him with force. She wraps her arms around his neck, but because of their proximity the dress is still here like a barrier.
With a sharp move he takes it out of the way making her gasp. He lifts her and sits her on the edge of the desk. She opens her legs and brings him closer to her by wrapping them around his waist. And then her bare chest is glued to his dressed one. She tangles her fingers inside his hair and he moans.
They are putting all the frustration, all the loss they felt these days to this kiss. There's nothing soft or gentle about this kiss. Only desperation and want that can't be expressed otherwise. He stops kissing her and stares her heavy eyelids, her eyes, her swollen lips.
She looks at him and she sees everything she wants in life. He looks at her and he sees his past, his present and his future. He lowers his head and kisses her again but softly this time.
"Just a reminder that no one will ever make you feel like I do." He says and walks out of the room leaving her speechless.
* * * * * *
She did run away that night. She did because everything the poor man was doing Kerem would do it better. But she didn't run away from the kitchen like last time. She apologized and left everyone behind her shocked.
She runs to the atelier. She doesn't know why. All she knows is that she wants to be alone and that's the only place she can think of.
But Kerem had the same idea. She's the one who finds him sitting by the main window looking out.
"Welcome back." He says dry.
"I thought you said you wouldn't be here." She says and she approaches him.
"And I thought you said you wouldn't run away this time. What happened?"
"You happened." She says with blunt honesty. "You and your stupid eyes and your unique manners and everything else."
He smiles a little and he turns to face her. "And I thought I was the ruined one here. I couldn't do it. I went to her house you know. But I left almost immediately." She lowers her head to hide her smile. At least she wasn't alone in this.
"Everything was off." He continues. "And then I run to your house. But I couldn't bring myself to knock on the door so I came here. And now you are here too." He comes closer to her "And the question is what are we doing from now on Ayse?"
