A Scavenger and a Pilot {Poe Dameron x Reader}

Chapter 13 - The truth

You held Poe in your arms, weeping hysterically. 

All around you, the other Resistance fighters had come to your rescue. They began to shoot the stormtroopers and fight with them, but you didn't pay them any attention. 

BB-8 stood by your side, beeping sadly at the sight of his wounded master. 

You pressed your hand against Poe's wound, hoping you could stop the blood. A small puddle of blood had gathered underneath Poe's body. You knew you couldn't stop it from running.

"Someone, please help!" You cried out, looking around desperately.

One of the Resistance fighters noticed you and ran over to you. He noticed Poe. "Oh my god, Poe! What happened?"

"He---the stormtrooper---he got shot," you choked out, trying to take breaths. Your tears didn't allow you to breathe properly. "Please, he needs to be taken to the infirmary. You need to get him back to the base before he loses too much blood."

Some other Resistance fighters came over and together, they picked up Poe. You watched as your hand slipped out of his when they took him away. 

You looked down at your hands, which were now stained with the blood of your beloved.

You got up, walking and looking down at your feet. 

Various corpses were scattered across the floor, of both the good side and the bad. You felt tears fall down your eyes as you followed the Resistance fighters back to the ship.

BB-8 beeped to you, asking if Poe was going to be okay.

"I---I don't know, BB-8. I don't," you replied. You ran after the fighters as they boarded the ship. 

You saw Leia standing there. You couldn't really read the expression on her face. When she saw you, she reached her arms out. You ran into her arms and she wrapped them around you, hugging you tightly. You wept into her chest, engulfed in the warmth of her hug.

"You did it, (Y/n). You completed the mission," she told you quietly. 

"Poe got hurt because of me. If I had just listened and we had left right away, he wouldn't have been shot," you sobbed. "I wasn't even meant to come in the first place."

Leia shushed you as you continued to cry. She laughed gently. "Your fault? (Y/n), if it hadn't been for you to sneak onto this mission in the first place, we might've never had a chance at destroying the base."

The door of the ship closed as the last of the fighters boarded it, and it took off. You watched through the window as the ship left the icy planet you had once called home. You stood in front of the window, watching the icy planet drift away into the distance.

There was a long silence before Leia spoke again. "You should go see him."

You turned around, but you didn't meet her gaze. "I can't bear to see him the way he is right now. It's too challenging."

"He'd want you to be there," Leia replied, in a voice so gentle you hadn't ever heard her speak that way before. 

"I know," you answered, and yet your eyes still refused to meet hers. You stared down at the floor, tears threatening to drip from your eyes once more.

A silence commenced, but it was broken when you spoke. You found yourself asking the same question BB-8 had asked you earlier. "Will he be okay?"

Leia took a deep breath, considering your question. The silence terrified you. "I don't know."

You blinked more tears out of your eyes.

"Why did you come on the mission?" Leia asked.

"I don't know," you replied, and yet something told you that she knew just as well as you that you weren't telling the truth.

"(Y/n), why did you?" Leia repeated, her voice soft.

You turned around. There was no point in hiding the truth. "I came because of him. Because of Poe. After he returned from his previous mission that day, I was overjoyed. I was so happy that he had returned, and that nothing had happened to him. And then, when he told me he was leaving on yet another mission, I couldn't take it. And I knew. . ." You paused and gulped, your tears becoming intense again. Your voice broke. "I knew I'd never be able to live with myself if I let him slip out of my grip and he never came back."

Leia said nothing. She looked past you, and once again, you couldn't read the expression on her face. 

"I know I wasn't supposed to go, it wasn't my place. But I couldn't let him leave without me, I just couldn't," you wept.

"I remember Han," Leia said, so gently it was almost a whisper.

You looked up at her, slightly confused. "What?" 

Leia smiled, as if something happy had just come to her mind. "Han Solo."

"Han Solo? Wasn't he a leader in the Rebellion way back when?" You asked.

"Yes, he was. But he was also a scoundrel. My scoundrel. We were so young when we fell in love. I was around your age," Leia began, walking up to the window. She stared out at the distance. "I loved him so deeply, it hurt me every time he had to leave on a mission. I would always cry for days when he would leave, because I was always afraid he would never come back. And yet every single time, he did. Then, after years passed, we had a son. A beautiful boy. And we named him Ben. We raised him and loved him with all of our hearts, but somewhere along the path he stumbled, and the Dark Side stole him from us. Our beloved Ben, our world, was taken from us without even so much as a warning. And one day, a few years back, Han left on a mission. He told me he'd bring our dear Ben back to the Light." Leia blinked tears out of her eyes, and there was a long silence before she continued. "But he never came back. When I found out, my heart broke and I became so sad that at one point I felt as if life wasn't worth living anymore. Even more so when I found out that it had been our beloved son who had killed him."

"Your son? But didn't Kylo Ren---" You stopped when Leia turned to face you. Tears were rolling out of her glistening eyes, and you realized what her expression was trying to tell you. "Kylo Ren . . . is your son. He is Ben Solo."

Leia shook her head. "Kylo Ren is not my son. Ben is. My son is in there somewhere, trapped inside that metal beast. There's conflict in him, I know it. I know he can be turned to the Light."

"I'm so sorry about Han," you apologized, looking down at the floor.

Leia raised your chin to face her with one finger. "Don't apologize, (Y/n). I told you the story so you could learn from it. If you truly love someone, you never let them go. They always stay with you." 

"What are you saying?" You asked.

Leia smiled. "I'm saying, I think you should go see Poe."