.-consequences

" No Regrets "

As I turn around to look behind me, here he is Mr. Chocolate himself
HIM: Can I get your number
Me: Yeah (I quickly give him my number)

yeah, I know.. he was married. This is so wrong but things just seemed so right. Started to feel like I deserved him more than anyone else did.
A few moments after, he called and ask was I going to come see him. Of course I said yeah, what ya'll think I said? I waited for a minute because he went to make a run then go home and shower. He lets me know he's home and there I go.., on my way to see Mr.Chocolate himself. Now, this is where things get a tad bit judgemental for me but who cares. As I get closer to his house I let him know I'm outside the back of his home, he was surprised. kinda like he didn't think I was really going to show up. All I could think of is "man, all this time I've wanted his attention& now I have it. Now mind you his wife was no where in sight so I'm not thinking to ask where she is or anything. When I get into his home I notice the decor of his home and I am absolutely in LOOOVVE.. I dont know who did the decorating and rearranging but they really did they shit. We head into the bedroom where he has the tv on but nothing is playing. I go to the other side of the bed and ask if I could sit. "Yeah", he says. I get a bit comfortable and he proceeds to ask what is it I wanted to watch.
I let him know it didnt matter, shit I already have what I wanted which was to be in his precense and get to know this person Ive been dying to know. Once we both realize TV isnt what we really wanted to engage in is when things started to get steaming hot. He grabbed my face and we began to kiss. As soon as we started kissing I felt butterflies and all kinds of good feeling tingles. We're hugging and cuddling while grabbing and holding one anothers face, moaning as if the sex had started. Okay, I admit it. We did have sex and I enjoyed every minute of it. It was magical.
It was wrong, but this wrong doing felt so right that I have no regrets behind it. It was like I felt something, I felt something tell me that he's maybe the one for me. Crazy right? When we finish having sex he immediately tells me to block his uncle, but mind you I only did it to get HIS attention. I actually showed him I had his uncle blocked afterwards. We both came to an agreement that no feelings would even be invlolved though. I figured I was too strong to catch feelings for him. Yeah, right. I caught more than feelings. Cupid shot his god damn arrow. We both caught feelings. I fell in Love. He was everything. He was showing attention and showing he cared so much about me.
This man did things for me I never had to ask him to do. He was kind,gentle, respectful, funny, family-oriented and the sex was BOMB.

In the beginning, I wanted to stick with not catching feelings so I tried keeping my distance. Its not that I didnt want him but I couldnt get caught up in my feelings behind this married man. Which makes me even more crazy to catch feelings for him knowing he was married in the first place. As time went by no matter how hard I tried I couldnt help it. The more we was around one another the more feelings we kept caught. \& the more feelings we caught the more sex we had. We talked all the time. We started seeing one another more often. I'll never forget me telling him I loved him for the first time just hearing him say those words back to me while were looking in each others eyes. Sex turned into love making quick. Everything was good shit, everything was perfect. He started spending a lot of time with me. Bringing me around his family and everything. I'll nevr forget meeting his family for the first time. It was almost like I belonged. Like this is my in-laws. I just felt it. I'm telling you, it all felt so right.
As we started noticing the same things as far as how much we loved one another we started talking FUTURE wise. He listened to my goals and I listened to his. One thing I loved about him is he always motivated me to want and do better, not for no one else but for me. I tried teaching and preaching him the same, but he just has to be the Superman for others. I love it though, it lets me know his heart. If he can help others, he always did and I know he always will. Whether he wanted to or not. We started talking about possibly starting our own family one day, ya know..kids and marriage. I really felt loved by him. Junior, aw Junior. He really had my head gone.
Now in the midst of our fairytale going on he's still in this marriage with his wife so emotions are haywire. Im starting to feel a certain way about things now. I start losing myself. Trying to control someone whos not quite for me. This shit was complicated.
I tried being understanding, There were times I would tell him go and talk to her, not to push him away.. I thought I sounded crazy but at the same time. I rather him know Im being understanding because I KNEW she existed and I KNEW the situation.  He started to feel like I was pushing him towards her while im thinking how, how could I be if I'm constantly explaining my love for you while still understanding she's your wife and I know you have love for her. Everything was all over the place when it came to feelings. & it wasnt only us. Kids was invloved. They know him as their dad and I would never take  a father ESPECIALLY a damn good father, away from his kids.