Using a Subliminal and Does it Work?

Day 39

1/24/2020

I was having a pretty bad day. I had gotten my period and my cramps were horrible!!! Usually on the first day I am sad and annoyed at everything little thing and it really showed. In chemistry I sat down and barely looked at Cross. We had to talk in our groups and my family is so awkward. I'm gonna rant about them real quick. I'm the only sophomore and the rest (2 boys and 1 girl) are juniors. Cross (obviously) does his work and takes over everything and the other two don't do anything! They just wait for the answers and don't participate at all! You know, they didn't have to take this class because graduation requirements say that you only have to take 2 years of science so if they weren't even going to do work in the class then why take it? It's ugly and stressful on Cross and I because if we don't know anything then we're screwed and can't rely on the other two 😒. Periodt

(I just finished You season two and the ending 😦)

Anyways, I didn't talk at all except when we had to discuss and chart in chem to make sure everyone in the group understood it but no one was talking and I know Cross looked at me but I just didn't want to talk 😞.

Then we were learning specific heats and he couldn't see the board that showed the specific heat of metals and we needed to see the specific heat of aluminum and so he leaned in and whispered "what's the specific heat for aluminum?" (Ugh him whispering 😩) and I told him ".13" and he whispered back a thank you and I said you're welcome and he scoffs/laughs?? And I did the exact same the but subconsciously and then I realized we did the same thing 😳. It's a psychological thing where when you have a crush you start adopting their mannerisms and movements too so I guess I did that.

At 7pm our school held a Dancing With the School event where teachers/staff dance with students from the dance team and compete with each other and my chem teacher was in it and she didn't even place third and I cried! My friend dm'd Cross to vote for our teacher and he tried to buy it wasn't working (he's part of the problem as to why she didn't work). After the event across asked who won so I texted him the winners (the football team won 3rd place so he was happy about that) and he said that the first place teacher is pretty cool and I said "you finna get blocked! [our teacher's name] should've won!" And he replied back "nooo [my name] noooo!" and I was cheering and all happy because he spelt my name right (apparently that's a big deal to me?) and at this time I'm walking with my friend to her car and I see a bike coming towards me and so I move right and he moves the same way and I so quickly move left and he swerves and slows down and bumps into my thigh and he's all pressed about it and cussed me out. Like am I hurt? Did I saw "ow?" Am I dead? The answer to all of those is no. I apologized but I shouldn't have. I always apologize for things I shouldn't be apologizing for and he didn't even apologize. It takes a person riding the bike to hit someone🙄. Reason #17366439829192737361 as to why I want to leave LA: people don't own up to their mistakes.

When I'm in the car going home I get a notification on Snapchat saying "[Cross] has added you as a friend!" and I'm about to pass out in the car with my mom. I opened a text from my friend and she said that Cross was asking for my Instagram so I can block him but I don't have Instagram so she gave him my Snapchat!! AHHHHHH I accepted him and he said "you can block me now" and I told him "I meant in real life" and from what I can't remember because I was so happy was that he asked me why and I said that he was being negative towards our teacher because he was happy that the teacher who won first place got first. And then he left me on read...that was crazy!!!!🤯🥰🥰🥰

1/25/2020

His friend posted on his snapchat story  saying that Cross and another boy need a gf so girls whoever is interested should swipe up and I jokingly told my friend that imma slide up lol. I didn't really though.