I think the cold had gotten to Flynn and Carter. They were now sitting in the taxi, I could only barely see them through the window over the loveseat Marie was climbing all over.
She had just woken up and was still hesitant to get very close to me. There'd be little bursts of socializing where she'd run up and hug me, wrapping her chubby little arms around my neck, but just as soon as she did, she'd run off and go hide behind Esme again.
After she was finished crying, Esme had explained what had happened to Sawyer. He had left like he always did, kissed her and Marie goodbye and promised to call from the first truck stop on his trip. Marie liked hearing the names of the cities he was in, she didn't know what they were, she just thought some of them sounded funny.
But his call never came. At least not when he had promised.
Esme had waited til almost dawn of the next day by the phone when she finally got a call. They didn't have enough money to get her her own cellphone, and since she was mostly always home with Marie, there wasn't really a need for one. She answered and it was Sawyer on the other end of the phone. He was calling her from a truck stop phone, his phone had died miles ago, but he didn't care enough to charge it. She said he sounded numb. That's the word she used. Numb. As if he was just a shell of the Sawyer she had met years ago. He promised to send them money from the jobs he would do, but he couldn't come home, at least not for a while. He never explained why and he hung up so quickly, Marie didn't even get to hear the name of the city he was is.
He did send money at the beginning. Apparently it started out as every week. Then every two weeks. Then every month. Eventually it was November and Esme and Marie were eating ham sandwiches for Thanksgiving with Snickers as dessert. I had asked why she hadn't called us. We would've been happy to help, but she had just shook her head with a teary smile on her blotchy face.
"Your parents never liked me much. And you're just a kid, V."
Esme was the only person that called me V. It started back when she was pregnant with Marie and heard Sawyer call me Way. He hadn't called me that in so long even I was taken aback. She didn't like it. She shook her head like she always did, scrunched her nose up and put her hand on her belly.
"It doesn't... fit you. At least not anymore."
So she tested out nicknames for days until she landed on V. It came so naturally I was surprised she had ever called me Waverly to begin with. But hearing her say it now only hurt.
And the money from the diner was practically burning a hole through my pocket. I had counted it quickly after Flynn and Carter had looked away to let me change in the backseat.
It was $300 even. After dinner and gas it was at $216 with whatever loose change I had found in the hotel room.
I watched as Esme played with Marie. If you squinted your eyes you could hardly see the bags under Esme's eyes. Or the fact that Marie was wearing a shirt that was probably more than a size too small. Anytime she lifted her arms above her head, I would see her belly. I could almost start to count her ribs if I really wanted to.
"So Sawyer isn't answering the phone?"
Esme turned to me, and that same sad smile took over her face. He'll call us from this payphone once in a while. It's some out of state area code I don't recognize. I always mean to look it up but..." she trailed off as she usually did.
"What area code is it? Maybe from upstate? Y'know like past Utica or something."
"It's not New York, I know that for sure. He said it was hot in the middle of December. Its 575."
I stood up and grabbed my backpack. I grabbed my phone out of the very bottom. I never used it, it wasn't like anyone was trying to get a hold of me. I don't even think my parents had realized I had left the state. I unlocked it and opened up the browser, looking up where 575 was.
I felt my heart sink into my stomach. No, past my stomach. My intestines. Tangling so far up in them I felt my body go cold. And then just like before, I felt like I was burning red hot.
Las Cruces, NM is officially utilizing area code 575...
I dug my hand in my pocket and grabbed the crumpled up bills in my palms. I had to set my backpack down to grab all the coins too. Esme looked up at me from the floor where she was sitting with Marie. If it wasn't for the fact that I was so determined, I probably would've felt nauseated by the way the room was spinning around me.
I handed all the money to Esme. Every last penny. I think she tried to refuse it but I was already out the door before she could even try to hand it back. I walked up to the taxi and saw Flynn and Carter sitting inside laughing. It almost made me feel bad for yanking the door open.
"How much do I owe you?"
Flynn looked at me confused, but he smiled nonetheless, "a shit ton."
He tried to laugh but it was cut off by me handing him the rolled up bills I had stashed in a pair of socks in my backpack. I was about to turn away and go back into the house without explaining myself if it weren't for Carter grabbing my arm and pulling me back.
"Waverly, are you okay?"
I looked back and didnt answer him, instead I stood outside of the cab and stared at Flynn.
"How much for you to take me to the nearest bus station?"
He still hadn't spoken. He was counting the money I had laid in his hand. I knew it was $1,250, but I didn't say anything.
He finally looked up, "why do you need to go to a bus stop?"
"Because I don't have the money for cab fare all the way to New Mexico."
Carter cut in again, "why do you nee-"
And I think this is the moment I broke.
I just felt myself fall. Not hard. It was like the first drop in a rollercoaster where you can feel your stomach in your throat but can't do anything about it, but it wasn't going away. And I wasn't one for crying, but I couldn't help it when a tear slipped out from the corner of my eye. I could feel Flynn and Carter watching me. Before I knew it I started talking and I didn't think I would ever shut up. I told them about coming here to catch a ride with my brother to New Mexico. And I told them about him leaving his family and practically falling off the face of the Earth, only to land right back in the middle of a desert. And I told them about Esme and Marie and how if I concentrated hard enough I could probably count Marie's ribs because all Esme could afford right now was milk and ham sandwiches. And I had given her our money and it was $216 but I would pay them back eventually. And I just couldn't shut the fuck up, even if my life depended on it.
Finally, after what felt like forever sitting on that curb, I heard Flynn start the cab.
"Get in the fucking cab Waverly, we're not letting you ride cross country in a fucking bus."
I looked up at him, but he was just staring at the meter. It was still running. It was well past $1,250.
Carter was looking past me, at Marie, who was waving at him through the window. He waved back. Crossed his eyes and made a face.
"But I can't pay you. I'm a custom-"
"Jesus fucking christ Waverly," he slammed his hand on the meter. It flashed for a second and then, as if nothing had happened, it was right back to zero, "there now you're not a customer anymore. Get off that dirty curb and get in this fucking taxi. I'm gonna go kick your brother's ass."
