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SORRY (a.): ❝ feeling regret or penitence ❞
IT WAS POSSIBLE that itwas none of the listed memories. Instead, it could've been the moment when San walked in on Wooyoung with another boy. The sight of the younger's fingers tangling with the sheets on their bed, the sound that once was heaven but now bought San hell, the scent of pure sex that pushed a now imperfect puzzle piece into San's gaping heart. He opened his mouth but nothing besides a strangled cry left him.
San would never catch a full glimpse of the other male's face as Wooyoung muttered a simple, "San get out." And San was gone. He'd shut the door and grab his things before making his way to someplace else; somewhere Wooyoung wasn't. He'd run but Wooyoung was everywhere, the look in his eyes that once made him feel fuzzy now made him sick because that wasn't the Wooyoung he knew.
That Wooyoung hated him and San didn't know why. So that day San found himself bent over a random trashcan, throwing up all of his frustration and anger. Then he would go home and cry himself to sleep on the couch, with no blanket, in the middle of winter.
For months, San would sit in his classroom, his pencil being tapped against his desk as his mind swirled with thoughts. Why was Wooyoung doing this now? What had he done wrong- was there something wrong with them? His whole being deteriorating every time he would walk through that familiar door and his ears would perk up at the same airy moan that was once caused by him.
The image and name he created for himself was crumbling apart in Wooyoung's grasp. In Wooyoung's hands that now held onto the arms of someone entirely new leaving San to sleep on the same couch that only grew colder as the days passed.
It was the days he went over to Seonghwa's house and simply curled up into the other's arms as he whispered reassuring words. Words that he knew were true but Wooyoung had ruined him entirely that his mind kept registering them as lies. Like words covered in honey that would seep into his mind until there was nothing left besides a blind eye that couldn't see his broken heart.
But even in the moments Seonghwa and Yunho would distract him, Wooyoung just wouldn't leave his mind. His voice ringing in his ears as the words repeated over and over again. The words he always mumbled to San whenever the two were given just two seconds to be who they were."I'm sorry."
