the love archives | camren

two

Lauren unlocks the door to her apartment and extends an arm for Camila's entrance. A dim light in the hall suffices for them until Lauren flips a switch as she steps in.

"We can sit at the bar," she directs as she locks the chain on her door.

Camila moves over to a chair, slowly. Lauren picks up that she's anxious in her surroundings—something that was never a good sign when they were young.

Lauren gently smiles at her as she takes the next seat.

"Excuse... everything," Lauren waves over the pile of mail and dog toys scattered about.

"It's not like you were expecting me," Camila reasons as she takes a bite of a fry.

"I should've cleaned up regardless. Don't you remember? I was just as messy as you were," Lauren teases the younger girl's worst habit. Camila shrugs while crinkling her nose.

"I don't know, I was God-tier messy, you were just... unorganized," Camila argues as she finishes off the fry. Lauren runs a hand through her hair and giggles. She turns as soon as she hears Cleo's paws tapping against the wood floors, but swears she sees Camila inadvertently bite her lip from the side of her eye. Not much thought goes into it because Cleo is flipping over in excitement by her feet.

"Cleo," Lauren bends down to pick up the small pet, "this is Camila."

As soon as the name leaves her mouth, she realizes who is in front of her. Their long history of fascination and frustration hits Lauren like a ton of feathers (same weight but less impact). She tries to keep a neutral, friendly expression, but her mind is replaying everything they've ever been through.

Like the first day they met, not knowing they'd be in one of the greatest girl groups of the decade together. They knew each other for only a few days as the other girl from Miami. Then they took their first trip to Los Angeles together—with three other girls—to start recording music. Lauren found solace in Camila for the first few months because they were extremely similar and shared countless interests. It was like having one of her own friends with her. But it wasn't until the next year, once they had started recording for their debut album, that Lauren knew she was feeling something more than comfort.

Whenever she looked at Camila, or talked to her, or even touched her, she lost track of mind. All she wanted to do was those things, constantly. She wanted the security of knowing that she could do those things constantly. But not only was the group's image growing, making a relationship between two members a risky move. There was also the fact that Camila didn't want to be in a relationship when Lauren did.

So Lauren decided not to pursue Camila.

Then Camila decided to pursue Lauren.

"Can she have a fry?" Camila questions. It snaps Lauren out of her momentary daze. Camila's looking at Cleo playfully which eases the embarrassment of zoning out.

"Yeah, go ahead," Lauren places Cleo back down on the floor. Camila hops off of her stool and bends down, insisting Cleo sit before being fed the fry.

"I'll be right back, gotta use the bathroom," Lauren lies. She mentally kicks herself for doing so too.

She walks into her bathroom and shuts the door, leaning against it and taking the deepest breath she's ever taken. A wave of alleviation rushes through her body. She takes another breath.

Not really knowing what to think, or what to do, she pulls out her phone and searches through her messages. Ally is her most recent to pop up out of the three other girls. Lauren had checked in with her and congratulated her on everything. She passes Dinah next, almost tapping her contact but deciding not to dump her situation on the girl Camila was closest with. Then Normani shows up. Lauren opens their messages and begins to type.