Patience

3

The whole rest of the evening, Stevie can't concentrate on what Mallory Briggs is saying. She knows she should be, she's paying for everything but she couldn't stop thinking about that girl. There was something about her, the name, Tori Paige-Bird, and Young Child. She didn't really care about the meanings she just thought it was pretty...Tori Paige Buckingham was even better. There was a fluttering in her stomach when she first saw her walk into the living room but as she was looking at her and listening to what she was saying, something clicked in her and she felt like crying. It was hard and horrible really. She labored for twenty-four hours painfully. Lindsey was by her side even though Cheri wasn't too thrilled about it. She and Lindsey picked out the name together and then they surrendered her. 

They knew that their lives were definitely no way to raise a child and no one even knew about the situation...except for Fleetwood Mac and their families. She found out she was pregnant in March while she was recording Street Angel. The baby was conceived on January 20, 1993. The Clinton Inauguration, it had to have been. That was last time she and Lindsey-she and anyone for that matter, until the Dance Tour and even then it was still with Lindsey-had sex. They performed for the president,  but then they went back to the hotel got a little too drunk and high and fell into bed with each other. Lori had gotten pregnant with Jessie around the same time and they were "baby buddies" Stevie, gave birth first and Lori followed eleven days later. Stevie had gone into Labor at 38 weeks and Lori 42. It pissed her off.  She and Lindsey got to have her for four days but then Cheri put her foot down and said that if he wanted to continue their relationship he wasn't allowed to be apart of Tori's life. So they talked about it and cried over it and decided that it would be best to give her a different life. Stevie certainly couldn't take care of her by herself especially because of the Klonopin.

She was entirely against using Klonopin while Pregnant but at the time there was nothing saying that she couldn't and the fucking doctor that prescribed it didn't want to let her wean off. Cheri and Lindsey broke up an agonizing two months later...an agonizing two months that caused her to fall in a deep depressive state, you could say it was postpartum but at the same time, it was just the sheer fact that she wanted her little baby girl. When Lindsey's relationship with Cheri crumbled Stevie wanted to get her baby back.

 The only problem was that she had no idea where Ray had brought her. Also, Ray wouldn't divulge any information. All he did was take the baby and the gray blanket she crocheted her and the necklace and birth certificate and left. It haunted her. It haunted her dreams almost every night, it haunted her songwriting, and it haunted the relationship she has-had-with Lindsey. But it haunted her the most two years ago on 60 minutes with Chrissie Hynde and she talked about the Klonipin the words that came out of her mouth 'I could've had a baby.' broke her heart and the tears welled up in her eyes because she did have a baby. A baby that she didn't have access to. A baby that she missed 26 years with. 

"So when do we pay the first deposit?" Jessie asks pulling Stevie's attention.

"No deposits just 500 upfront on your first lesson." Mallory crosses her leg.

" When can we start?" Jessie asks.

"Whatever works best for you. It's not like a weekly thing. You call me the day before and just come in. You guys are getting married in October, you still have all the time in the world." Mallory shrugs.

"Well...Alec and I know we definitely want to go with your studio so we'll keep in touch." Jessie grins.

"Can, I just pay you now?" Stevie questions holding up her checkbook.

"If that's what you want." Mallory nods.

"I do, I'm here...I might as well." Stevie sighs writing it out and signing her name. 

"Awesome, I look forward to hearing from you...I'll show you out." Mallory stands up.

"Um, do you know if Tori has any sharpies?" Stevie bites her thumbnail.

"You're really going to sign her records?" Tony questions.

"I also kind of want to go talk to her. I don't get to meet fans that often." Stevie shrugs.

"She did seem rather sweet." Carrie smiles.

"Well, we are going to get going." Tony states.

"Will you guys be fine if I show them out?" Mallory asks.

"Yeah." Jessie nods. 

"Great, Stevie, she loves to draw so I can guarantee you there's one in one of the drawers in the kitchen. I think the one closest to the fridge." Mallory grins. 

"Stevie you don't think..." Lori says out loud not even paying attention to Alec and Jessie giving her curious looks.

"I don't know...that's why I want to go talk to her." Stevie bites her lip, digging in the drawer and grabbing at a black sharpie. 

"Do you want me to go with you?" Chris questions.

"No." Stevie shakes her head. 

"I'm lost." Alec blurts.

"Me too." Jessie nods.

"Um, it's not important." Lori shakes her head. 

"If it gets to be too long, I can just call a car. I have the number on speed dial" Stevie looks to her family after she signs the records.

"No, we'll wait." Chris states. 

***

Stevie gently knocks on the bedroom door, but she gets no answer she just opens it and peeks in. The only light is coming from a lamp on her nightstand and as she gets closer to the bed her heart breaks when she sees the girl asleep, but then she looks closer and she can see the silver diamond moon necklace laid against the pillow on her neck. And then she sees the blanket in her grasp and she has to choke back a sob. She knew that blanket, she made that blanket. It was becoming increasingly clear that she made that young girl, she held her hand to her mouth and then flicked off the light for her.

"That wasn't long," Alec says when Stevie reappears.

"No, She was asleep." Stevie makes her way to the fridge where she pulls down the grocery list paper pad and writes her phone number on it. 

"Aunt Stevie are you sure you want to do that?" Jessie raises an eyebrow.

"I'll explain in the car." Stevie sighs as they leave the apartment, meeting Mallory in the hall. They say a quick goodbye and make their way to Chris's SUV.