Patience

26

July 29, 2020

Stevie woke up around one-thirty. It had been her normal recently, except when she had a commitment like her appointment then she knows that she can make herself go to bed early and so on and so forth. When she got downstairs she saw everyone except Tori surrounding the island and she was immediately on high alert and she wanted to cry. 

"Where's my baby girl?" Stevie questions wearily.

"Probably up in her room, we haven't seen her all day." Stella shrugs.

"Oh well...I was um..." Stevie didn't even know what she was going to say so she was grateful when Lindsey cut her off.

"She has PTSD Steph." 

"What?" Stevie questions.

"I've been thinking a lot about the argument that you two had about the masks. She has PTSD. Chad choked her Stevie. You saw her neck. That is directly cutting off her airway. God only knows what else he did to her. I think she relives it every time she puts the mask on I think she goes back to that. And I think you really did overreact. And you haven't been too subtle with the mask hints you've been dropping on social media lately." Lindsey sighs. 

"Oh my god, I hurt her." Stevie gasps her hand falling to her stomach.

"What did you do?" Lori inquires.

"She was trying to shove her mask back at me before we went to the eye doctor and I grabbed her wrist to stop her and I think I squeezed it a little too hard, she said that I had hurt her. Oh my god, I have to go talk to her." Stevie about runs up the stairs. 

When Stevie got up to Tori's room she knocked politely and then when there wasn't an answer she peeked her head into the bedroom and saw the perfectly made bed and her heart fell a little bit. Then she pressed in and started looking around. The sweaters and shawls that had been draped around the room were gone, her phone charger was gone, the penguin stuffed animal was gone, in the closet, her clothes were gone and then it hit her. Tori had left and she started to hyperventilate and cry. 

She crumpled to the bed and wrapped herself around the pillow that smelt like Tori and that's how Lindsey found her an hour later.

"What's going on?" 

"She's gone, Lindsey, I lost her again." Stevie sobs as Lindsey wraps his arms around her.

"Stevie, she's literally just like you. She probably...honestly she probably felt attacked. She probably read your post this morning and felt like you were indirectly targeting her. She doesn't know you yet in your entirety. We're all still learning to live together and we've been locked up for five almost sixth months together just thrust into this life and I think that she just needed to get away for a while. And maybe she was a little childish for leaving over a stupid mask but Steph, it makes sense. You basically told her that she was selfish for having PTSD." Lindsey shrugs. 

"I don't have her phone number. I have all her bank information, medical information but I don't have her cellphone number and I need to find her. I have to find her. How do I find her." Stevie sobs into his chest. 

"I have her number. I'll call her." Lindsey nods. 

"I need her Lindsey." Stevie sniffles.

"I know you do." Lindsey kisses her head and then goes to the master where his phone is and calls Tori. 

***

She only answers because she knows it won't be good if she doesn't so she rolls her eyes and presses the button. 

"Hey Tor, it's me," Lindsey says.

"I know, I have caller id." She sighs.

"Where are you?" Lindsey asks.

"I'm not going to tell you, but I will tell you that I'm safe." She states.

"You better not be living in your car again." Lindsey states.

"I'm not," Tori shakes her head.

"Your mother is freaking out. She wanted to talk to you about something and she figured out that you had left. It's not...she's not doing good. She's like laying on your bed staring off into space." Lindsey tells her.

"Funny, where was that she screamed at me for not wanting to wear my mask. She said I was selfish, yet here she is saying that we should wear masks so she can go back to work. She didn't even ask why I don't like to wear the masks." Tori sighs. 

Lindsey quickly unplugs his phone from the charger and goes back into Tori's room and when Stevie sees him on the phone she eagerly sits up and grabs at it but he fights against her and shakes his head before putting it on speaker. 

"So why don't you like wearing the masks?" He asks.

"I don't like wearing them because you're literally breathing in poison, your breathing in carbon monoxide which can if done in giant amounts can cause the oxygen in your blood to die and then it can kill your organs. But at the same time, I know what WHO says and that's fine I can suck it up but I can't. I can't because Chad choked me. I can't because when Chad would hit me he'd cover my mouth and my nose to make sure that if I screamed at him and cried and fought back that it was muffled so no one could hear me.  When I wear those masks I go back to that place where Chad's beating me and it becomes restrictive and then I can't breathe, and I start to have a panic attack, and then my asthma kicks in and I can't breathe." Tori explains. 

Upon hearing Tori's words Stevie starts crying again and Lindsey just purses his lips.

"Oh honey, I don't know how to...I don't know, but I...what I do know is that you should come home." Lindsey states.

"I...I just need time right now. Goodbye Dad, I'm safe." Tori hangs up.

Lindsey looks at Stevie and sighs. "PTSD." 

"Please find her Lindsey." Stevie's lip wobbles. 

"Stevie I don't think I'm going to. She's 26 we don't own her. She can do what she wants. I trust her." Lindsey shrugs and walks back downstairs. 

***

Tori was staying in Mallory's apartment above the studio. The studio was closed because of COVID and Mallory being pregnant had locked herself in the house she had recently started sharing with her fiance so when Tori called and asked Mallory immediately let her stay there no questions asked.